I’m sitting here in my kitchen (why do we always sit in the kitchen so much?) and I’m taking in the quiet morning and this morning’s fall weather. Tommy and Samantha and Lelly are upstate at our friends’ (Bill and Martha’s) lake house and Alyssa is with Sam so it’s just the cats and dogs and me. I wanted to stay home this weekend, not that I don’t love the lake house but there’s something about being alone occasionally that is soul soothing to me.

I thought I might be nervous being alone. There have been very few occasions that Tommy and I haven’t slept together in the same bed. I’m reminded of the first time we went to Bill and Martha’s lake house. I fell asleep on their couch and Tommy went to bed in the bedroom with 2 twin beds each on one end of the room. I climbed into bed next to Tommy telling him to “move over.” Haha. I don’t know where I expected him to move to. Needless to say it was an amusing night’s sleep. But I didn’t want to sleep in a bed without him

So this weekend began with dinner with Thomas on Friday night. The group home agency was having a staff appreciation party and asked me to take Thomas out so all the staff could attend. Of course I agreed but warned them that Thomas is only good for a few hours outside his home in the evenings. After a while he gets tired and simply wants to go home. The house manager agreed and would have a staff person there around 9 to meet Thomas. Well, he made it to about 8pm before he started lecturing me that he wanted to go home. “This is not my house, this is *your* house…I’m not supposed to see you Friday night, I see you on Sundays…bring me back, I want to go back.” I gently explained that there wasn’t any staff at his house for another hour. Thomas is not easily entertained. He wouldn’t watch television (not that he ever does), refused to sit on the couch instead of at the kitchen island, and continued to lecture me with his facts. Thank God 9pm rolled around pretty quick and he was happy to go home.

Yesterday I did the weekly food shopping, hit the Sal Val and then headed off to Jersey City to see Sam and Alyssa’s apartment that Sam just moved into last month. It’s a luxury apartment and oh my gosh it is gorgeous. It’s a perfect space for the 2 of them (Alyssa isn’t moving in until they are married). I loved everything about it, their taste in furniture, Alyssa’s touches of color and her love of plants and nature. We walked around the neighborhood a while, stopping at little stores and boutiques here and there. One store was all vintage 70’s to 90’s clothing and accessories. Alyssa couldn’t help but laugh at some of the clothes and I totally tripped down memory lane with their 90’s clothing inventory. I found the coolest, vintage, large frame sunglasses in perfect condition. You know I had to get them.

Today I’m again venturing to the great Garden state to have dinner with my mom and family. Alyssa and Sam will also be joining us. It will be a nice Sunday afternoon. Tomorrow everyone will be home again and I’m glad. I think I’ve had enough alone time. I’m so used to someone being home mostly all the time. And I don’t mind it at all. My girls are pleasant and make me laugh. And Tommy being home is great, we have a shared sense of humor of things that are “funny/not funny.” I need to take my bike out, soon! I feel as though this God forsaken Biochemistry is hanging over my life like a grey cloud and it’s on my mind when I do other things beside work on that class. Soon…

I have both, I work at a special needs school and I’m attending college online, pursuing my bachelors of science degree in nursing. So far work has been fine. Of course it’s been fine the students haven’t begun attending yet. They are due to begin their first day Monday September 21. I’m not sure how many students in total are planning to come. Plus there are so many different classifications of classrooms it’s hard to keep up. I spent most of last week trying to set up medical equipment for procedures my students require while they’re st school. I’m not sure which of those students will be in attendance but I set up as though the majority will be coming. Last week was also professional development time. We had one zoom or webcast meeting after another. In my office at work I did not have internet access so my supervisor permitted us to attend the web meetings at home.

As for school for me…I’m stuck in biochemistry hell. This is horrible. I did not expect this class to be easy, no not at all. And unfortunately I wasn’t disappointed. I did not pass the final which means I did not pass the class and I must retake the final and pass it in order to pass the class. It’s very hard to get excited and study for a class you are not happy about. I’m supposed to meet frequently with the course instructor. Honestly I don’t have time for as frequent as they are suggesting. I’m making time this coming Wednesday to meet with her on a phone appointment. I have hope that the course instructor will have some insight that I don’t have.

I remember taking chemistry while in nursing school and hating every minute of it and rejoicing at the C I earned. So I’m not at all surprised that I’m not enjoying this class at all, not one bit. I’m praying to pass, it doesn’t have to be this all our brilliant passing with flying colors a simply passing by the skin of my teeth will suffice.

I Found My Dress!

Oh I’m so happy! It was relatively painless too. I was half heartedly looking at gowns/dresses at the bridal shop when we went to pick out at maid of honor and bridesmaids dresses for the girls a few weeks ago. But nothing really struck me to want to try on. Plus we weren’t there that day for me.

I like “bling” and wanted a dress that sparkled but I didn’t want to over sparkle. So I was browsing online and found a dress that I did like, a light lavender color with thin straps. It arrived and I had high hopes, but it didn’t fit right and I didn’t like the top. It wasn’t *the* dress for me, so I wrapped it up, printed out the return label and immediately sent it back.

So back to the drawing board. I was casually going through one of my favorite stores website and saw it, the dress! But…I didn’t really know if it would be the one until it arrived and I could try it on properly. Well today was the arrival and it fit and it’s so so pretty! The bodice is blinged out with a plain skirt/tulle over satin. It’s really what I had pictured in my mind when I thought of what I wanted as my dress as mother of the bride.

I’m not going to show a pic; alterations need to be done, shoes need to be chosen and besides it’s my daughter’s wedding. The element of surprise should be maintained. I’m just so surprised that my dress hunting was so painless as were all the other previous dress hunting expeditions. I’m so happy for Alyssa and Sam. They are a sweet young couple who should be having a low stress engagement.

Ordinarily as in years past (I mean pre-Covid,) today I would have reported to my school to make sure doctor’s orders were in place and equipment set up for students I provide care for to use in their classrooms. This would be done the day before school begins. Instead I’m assigned still to the enrichment center in Brooklyn until Friday… Friday is the latest last day as per the DOE. Things could change last minute as they have been.

I really don’t mind working at the enrichment center. I work with a great nurse/friend. And today we met the nurse who is usually assigned to the school we’ve been occupying. Her name is Angela and she is very nice. She spent most of her day clearing out not needed items and rearranging furniture in the office. I didn’t blame her. If my office space were occupied by someone else I would want to clear things out and take stock of what goes where and what is needed/not needed.

As long as I’m at the enrichment center my hours are the same. And that’s ok, I like getting home when I do, and traffic isn’t bad at all. So if things are so great at the enrichment center why do I want to return to my school so bad? I miss my school plain and simple. I miss my coworkers, the paras and teachers I haven’t seen outside of Facebook since schools were closed back in March. I miss the jokes we share and laughing together. I miss being serious with someone who takes the same things as serious as I do.

I have no idea how many of our students will attend school in person and how many will be attending remote, meaning from home. I don’t know what our hours will be for students attending in person. I really miss the students. I know my workload will increase when I return to my school and provide care for the population we serve, but I don’t care. My school is home for me. I received the nicest email from a co worker who was concerned that I wasn’t returning to my school at all. She said if I didn’t come back “it would be an incredible loss to our school.” I gasped. What a nice thing to say.

I also miss my office and my desk. I know where everything is and I know how to call just about anyone in the building for anything I might need. There’s something to be said for familiarity.