I work at a school that serves special education students and medically fragile special education students. The majority of the time I see mostly the medically fragile students. There are a large number of students I rarely to never see simply because they don’t need a nurse. One of the private duty nurses asked me recently what I liked most about working here. I had to think for a moment. It’s no secret that I love my job, but what makes me like it here so much? My answer is that even though I have a set schedule of nursing tasks for various students that need to be followed, every day is different. Every time I’m in the office someone different walks in with some sort of need. Sometimes it’s a student, sometimes it’s staff who were roughed up by a student and they need guidance to deal with their wounds.

Every day is the same; but different. The students I provide care for are different day to day. Sometimes they are very quiet and sometimes they are quite loud and very expressive. There are also situations that arise that are totally unexpected and emergent. Not that I like emergency occurrences, but it does get your blood pumping and brain chemicals flowing. You realize you can stay calm and you do know what to do and the staff here is wonderful in taking direction. All your nursing training for that situation comes flooding back like a river and you calmly perform nursing interventions specific for that student in that situation. And emergencies don’t have a time table or wait until it’s a “good” time. They happen when they happen. I’ve had to take care of a student in need at the end of the day, during the middle of PM bussing and everyone is waiting and wanting to go home, on a Friday no less. Everything worked out but I wanted to collapse when it was over.

I’ve decided that if I were to continue my nursing education I would like to go to school to be a Nurse Practitioner. I don’t see me returning to school soon but it’s something I’ve recently thought about.

Most people who know me personally know I was fiercely loyal to my hair stylist, Natalya. I adored her and she always got me when it came to either changing the cut, color, style or all three at the same time. I believe I went to her for about 6 + years. Our relationship came to a crashing halt when last year Natalya told me she had gotten married (she was a single mom); I was so so happy for her, but…she and her family were moving to Florida. I was very sad for me as selfish as that sounds.

So I began going to a salon around the corner from my house that I had frequented many many years earlier. I really liked the cuts and color my new/old stylist did for me, he listened and would give great input. But my goodness they were so expensive compared to the salon Natalya worked at. I used to color my hair myself but once you get used to the salon doing it, it’s difficult to go backwards. Last month I did bleach it myself and just paid for the haircut around the corner, but when it came time to have a cut and color done I decided to call Natalya’s previous salon and start with someone new from there. All you women readers know how nerve wracking that can be!

So here I sit with blonde dye in my hair patiently waiting for the color to develop and then I’m going for a different short haircut that is similar yo my picture here on my blog. It’s buzzed sides and leaving the top longer. Should be interesting, I’m hoping I leave with what I want.

So since I’ve withdrawn from the Masters program I’m thrilled with the amount of time I seem to have in my hands. I’ve rediscovered my Kindle, downloaded a book from an author I’ve enjoyed in the past, vacuumed my car, oh the excitement ! Haha! When I made that final decision I felt like a weight was lifted from my shoulders. On Sunday Tommy and I drove around to an AT &T store to return the portable hot spot I ordered for my use for school work. I was able to cancel the service since I won’t need it anymore. From there we went to an Italian specialty store way on the South shore of where we live (we are on the North Shore). We ended up getting homemade pasta and had it for dinner, it was so good! Point is, I was able to go out with my husband and just “be”. No worries about getting home to read or work on a project.

I have decided to be certified in school nursing. It’s nothing prestigious but I want to do it. So in my spare time I’m reading the book and taking practice tests. I’m enjoying the reading since this is what I do. But there is very little about school nursing for the medically fragile students I care for, it mostly conditions that affect typical students, not that my students couldn’t have the same issues combined with what they are already diagnosed with; actually they do but the majority of my time here is taking care of the medically fragile students. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I’ve decided to withdraw from the Masters program I began a month ago. I just don’t have it in me. I read the assignments and the first thing that comes to mind is WTF…I don’t want to do this, I really don’t. I can’t say I enjoyed the bachelor degree program but I wanted that degree; like I really wanted it. I don’t feel that way about the masters program, not today anyway.

At first when I was thinking about withdrawing I felt like a failure, like why don’t I have it in me? Is there something wrong with me? But I’m over that now and I realize I’m not a failure. I’ve raised 3.5 children; one special needs, landed a full time job that I love and earned my BSN in under 2 years. Now I just want to hang out with my husband and kids when I have time off. Or sit on a beach when we go on vacation, or do nothing. Not worry about completing the next assignment or worry when it’s due. So that’s it for now