I’m finding this whole going back to school business a little more difficult than anticipated. This class is more challenging than I thought it would be. It’s a writing class specifically teaching to write in “APA” style; which is the method of choice for scientific papers such as for nursing research papers. I guess I’m frustrated because I know I can “write”. I need to tailor my writing skills to what is expected of me and not what I *want* to write.

Thank God for my daughter Alyssa; a junior in college who is already familiar with this style of writing. This past assignment I had a very hard time. Alyssa arrived  home at the perfect time and helped me out a lot because I had worked myself up to the point of being upset. We managed to finish the assignment and turn it in on time. There is a second part due tonight that I am patiently waiting her help with.

Work has been a bit more challenging since my favorite co worker retired last week. I’ve been told by my supervisor that I am the “senior nurse” at the school since he retired. I’ve taken on a couple more responsibilities since and it’s ok I don’t mind, but for now I’m adjusting to my new daily schedule. The staffing office has sent 2 agency nurses to help out and they have been wonderful, thank God. I really miss Tom. After working in the field for 40 years it was his time, I’m just so glad I had the opportunity to work with and learn from him.

So I’m off to do school work. This is a new season in my life.

 

My best friend’s father died this past week. My friend and I have known each other since we were 17 years old. Over 30 years of friendship, man that seems so long…

Losing my own father this past February, my heart hurts for her. I know exactly how she feels and my eyes fill with tears when I think of her and her family. Losing a parent sucks plain and simple. I texted her this afternoon to let her know I’ve been thinking of her and her family and she said something so true that made me cry, “It’s forever…that’s the part I don’t want to grasp.” It is forever there’s no waiting for him to come back from where he went. There’s no more phone calls, or hearing his voice. There’s only the memories and things that he did that made you laugh and things that exasperated you that you’d give anything to experience again. You’d do it all again if given the chance.

My dad loved to tell stories, you could talk to him about anything. And he would have a corresponding story that happened to him. He would usually have you laughing by the end. I miss his stories. I miss him. I wanted to tell my friend that it gets easier the more time that passes. I would have been lying. I’m still not at that point where it gets easier. I’m still grasping the its forever and he’s not coming back part. I still cry when writing about my dad.

And now thinking about my friend and what she’s going through I cry also.

We recently changed cell phone providers and part of the deal was changing our television provider. So I quickly set up an appointment for the new installation and cancelled the old tv service for the following day. Efficient huh? Yeah. This was over 3 weeks ago. When the new service installer arrived he called me to tell me “the system is down so I can’t complete the installation.” Okay. I couldn’t get the previous provider to turn their service back on and I only have Alyssa home a day or two during the week for the new installer to come and finish the work. So we’ve been without television except for Netflix since then; 3 weeks now.

It’s not that big of a deal for the girls and I. I’m not a big TV person and the girls mainly watch Netflix or Hulu on their computers. It’s affected Tommy the most I’d say because he does like to watch television to relax especially before he goes to bed. I’ve gotten used to having the television on while going to sleep. So now it’s very quiet and dark when we go to bed…I’m thinking most people might say that is “normal”, but not for us.

So with all this quiet now before getting to sleep got me to thinking, “Why not pray?” God is so good! He created this situation so I would talk to him and pray. I never really had a set time I would pray; with the exception of being at church. If someone asked for prayer I usually drop everything and pray for them depending on the situation. Other times I would pray when I was thinking of a person or situation usually when I had some quiet time. These days God himself created “quiet time” or “time of prayer” for me.

You could say this could all change when our television service is back up and running this week. I don’t think so. I like that this time is carved out and devoted to Him and only Him. God gave us His best in sending His son to die for our sins while we were still sinners, the least we can do for Him is to pray and worship and let God know how much He really means to us.

Me. Not work. I’ve begun my journey towards my bachelor degree in nursing. It’s an online program not even a week in and already I’m a bit confused about handing in assignments. I’ve emailed the professor so hopefully she’ll email me back and the mystery will be over.

One of the requirements is to post on a discussion board and also post on 2 of your classmates discussion posts. That part was ok, you do have to site a resource when replying to someone else’s post. I didn’t find that to be too difficult; the internet is a wonderful thing. I am grateful for my Alyssa reminding me to copy and paste the link for the reference.

Of course I want to do well but I find it frustrating that my first course is one in writing. I know how to write properly. I know “they” don’t know that but I think there should have been some sort of writing test available to wean out those who can write and those who cannot.

I’m looking forward to getting this class over with and start the actual nursing classes. I could have taken more than one class to start but I was apprehensive as this is my first venture into online school and it’s been 20 years since I’ve taken a college course. I will feel more confident about knowing if I can handle more than one class at a time after this class is over. The class barely started and here I am wishing it were over…Tine to appreciate today and let tomorrow take care of itself.

 

I was given the choice of whether to work or not to work this past summer. I chose to work and make extra money in the meantime. Honestly the time passed pretty quickly and I still had a little less than 3 weeks (19 days but who was counting?) off between summer session ending and the new fall year beginning in September.

Around the 2nd week in August I decided to take the plunge and treat myself to a handbag I’d been lusting after for quite some time. A Louis Vuitton handbag. I called the store ahead of time (located in an upscale mall in NJ) to make sure they had the bag before I took a ride out there. They did not have the bag in stock so they ordered it for me and I chose to have the bag delivered to the store.

That Sunday we made plans to go to the mall to pick up my bag. I was so excited! We picked up Thomas and off we went. Tommy took off with Samantha and Thomas and I went to the LV store. I love shopping with Thomas, he’s a total enabler and will give you his opinion; not to mention he’s extremely polite to sales people.

Upon Thomas and my arrival to Louis Vuitton we were greeted by a very polite greeter type woman. I explained that I was there to pick up a bag that was ordered. She passed us off to a very snotty saleswoman. At first I thought she was like that because the store was busy. Nope she was just a snot. I watched as other shoppers were catered to while Thomas and I were told to wait while snotty saleswoman retrieved my bag.  About 10 minutes later she arrived with this huge box, within was my bag!  “I guess you want to see it? Said snotty woman”. “Of course I replied”. Thomas was awesome he ooohed and ahhed same as me. I told snotty woman that I was ready to leave and she had me sign for the bag. All the while Thomas, my sweet, well mannered son was looking her right in the face saying, “Thank you and have a nice day”. She didn’t reply much to my dissatisfaction. Thomas then got closer and again looked her right in the face and said, “Have a nice day.” Then she finally responded to him in a polite manner.

So much for luxury purchases and politeness. I’m so proud of Thomas, he has manners and didn’t back down in the face of snottiness.

I made another purchase with Louis Vuitton a couple of weeks later and chose instead to visit the boutique inside a major department store. There the sales associate was so so nice and professional. Again I brought Thomas and he was wonderful and of course polite. He was a great help when I had to make my final decision.  I mentioned to that saleswoman how nice they were in that small boutique compared to “outside in the mall.” She said she’d heard that before and smiled.

So…lesson learned; stay away from the first store and always bring Thomas.

You never think something is going to hit you hard until it actually happens and the next thing you know you’re sitting there with tears in your eyes completely taken off guard, like someone just punched you in the stomach.

That’s how I felt this morning when it totally hit me that today is Daddy’s birthday. The girls and I spent yesterday afternoon at my mom’s house. It was really nice we had a lot of laughs and great conversation. Of course I couldn’t help but think, “today we would have been celebrating daddy’s birthday,” and I held back tears for the first 10 minutes of the ride home wearing sunglasses so no one would see.

I can’t help but get weepy today. This morning I would have called daddy to wish him a happy birthday. We would have chatted a bit about anything that came to mind. I know he would’ve asked about my job and when was school starting? He would have gotten the biggest kick out of me taking Thomas to the Short Hills Mall (very upscale snooty mall in NJ) for a wallet shopping spree and how Thomas will talk politely to anyone; even snotty sales people.

He would have loved that Tommy bought a boat. I don’t know if he would’ve gone out on it but I think if Tommy mentioned fishing he would have said yes.

So here’s another happy birthday to my Dad who I can’t imagine missing him more than I do.

Labor Day Weekend has always been a really nice weekend for my family. Since my dad’s birthday is September 3, we always celebrated it with him during Labor Day Weekend, usually on the Saturday or Sunday to avoid holiday traffic.

Facebook posted a pic of daddy and I from 5 years ago on his birthday. This  was from 5 years ago, imagine that my hair was long and dark… haha.  I look at that picture and all I see is how much I love  him and miss him. It’s still so hard. 

If you notice in the picture I post of my dad, with the exception of being at a party he’s usually wearing some sort of t shirt with a saying on it. He had quite the collection of t shirts and hats. Daddy was mostly bald on top of his head so he was rarely without a hat. One time after coming here for dinner daddy showed me this order sheet for a hat that said, “And don’t forget my senior discount!”  I quickly ordered him that hat and gave it to daddy for Christmas. I loved that he wore it; a lot!

One of our pictures together on another birthday he was wearing a t shirt with minions on it and it said something about his mood. He was a character, my dad.

I scored yesterday at the thrift (after convincing Samantha to come with me.) Daddy would have gotten a kick out of me thrift shopping and Samantha sitting one one of the couches for sale waiting for me and playing on her phone. I know he would have made a joke about it and of course would have said it was a “shoppers sky!”

Lately I’ve been telling my girls about the various cars my sister and I drove when we were younger and before we had “real” jobs. God’s honest truth I never knew you had to have the car’s oil changed every 3 months or so. My mechanic/Dad never taught us that so we drove whatever car he got us into the ground and then he would get us another. One time with this one car. the ignition cylinder wasn’t working right and after you put the key in you had to pray it would turn so you could start the engine. Well after classes one day the key wouldn’t turn so I kicked the steering column and ignition cylinder; my foot slipped and the next thing I knew I cracked the windshield!  O.M.G. Was all I could think. Of course after that the key turned and I drove home and had to explain to daddy what happened. He did not bat an eye and was not mad. He was more curious of what did I think would happen after I kicked the cylinder?  I didn’t really have an answer.

He loved us his children. This I know with all my heart. And he got such a kick out of all his grandchildren. I know he was proud of the number of grandchildren he had, there are 11. I saw it in his face when people would ask him how many grandkids he had.  I have countless memories of him laughing at and with my kids. I also have a dear memory of him being as frustrated as I was when Thomas was off the wall behavior wise and no one had any answers for us so many years ago.

I know if they celebrate birthdays in heaven daddy is having a great one with everyone who had gone before him. No no more chemo, no more cancer. He’s cured. I just miss him so much.  Happy birthday Daddy.