I know many make resolutions or decisions that will hopefully impact their lives for the better for the incoming new year. I don’t. In the past I used to and then whatever the average days or weeks into the new year those resolutions were deserted. I guess you could say I try to make happen certain plans that have been on my mind. I’m planning to begin my masters degree program in February, I’m planning to continue to exercise before work, I can’t think of others but that’s a sampling of how my mind works.Things don’t always go as planned though especially in this age of Covid. Plans don’t materialize, you can have all the good intentions in the world and what you planned to happen just does not occur. Sometimes God has other plans for you and you can’t not follow His plan because that is the one that is best for you.

I remember when Thomas first moved to the group home close to where we live. I had all these plans of things we would do together now that we lived closer together. We were going to go to the mall together, go to church together, have dinners during the week together. Well…Thomas doesn’t do the mall very well, he was a fiasco at church and we are all too busy to have dinners together during the week. Instead, Thomas comes over every Sunday and stays the afternoon to just after dinner. Then he’s ready to go home; ready being an understatement. So much for planning. I must say that Thomas has squashed just about every plan I’ve ever had for him in the past 25 years. I’m not bitter, not at all. Just stating a fact.

I really hope that everyone who is making plans or New Years resolutions have the best results this year. Sometimes we need to kick ourselves in the butt to get going. Sometimes we abandon the original plan for something completely different and many times The Lord has His own plan and obedience to Him is the only way to go. Whatever the case; Happy New Year!

The week between Christmas Day and New Year’s Eve where you have no idea what day it is, what you’re supposed to do with yourself if you’re not working and what to do with your kids if they’re too young to be left on their own. I remember all to well when my kids were younger. I used to naively believe they would keep themselves busy by playing with all the new toys they received at Christmas. Ha! I couldn’t have been more wrong. They were not content to stay home and play with new toys. I remember trying to entertain everyone. It was not easy. Especially when Thomas was in the mix. He’s still high maintenance. I used to tell our then pediatrician, “all my kids should have been born only children.” I really felt like I couldn’t give them all enough attention each. I know now I was wrong but it was not easy back in the day.

These days it’s so so nice. Yesterday I went to TJ Maxx to peruse what Christmas items they marked down (fwiw not much). I went alone. Bliss! Then later in the day Lelly and I braved the mall. She wanted to go to Barnes and Noble and I had a return to do at Macys. The mall was so stinking crowded, not a fun time. But we split up and each did our own thing, meeting up again when we were finished. We even managed to score a decent parking spot but the amount of people there was crazy I tell you.

Today I did food shopping; alone again. I go early in the morning so either no one was up (Samantha) or no one wanted to come with (Lelly). And that was fine. If you see a trend of me liking to run errands alone you hit the nail on the head. It’s not that I don’t enjoy the company of others; it that it’s so dang easy to get things done when you’re not waiting on someone else. When I’m home I enjoy when my kids or husband are around. I get bored if I’m here by myself. This week will be nice because Lelly and Samantha are home from school, same as me. If I want to go out alone I just don’t ask them to come. I’m known to take my time when I shop so they don’t usually want to come anyway. Today Samantha and I need to shop for something for her to wear to a Sweet 16 party. Should be interesting.

I feel like a kid waiting for the final days to pass until we begin winter/Christmas break. Counting today we have 2 days (or 1 not counting today) remaining. And I’m not the only one counting. Some of the staff began counting as soon as we returned from Thanksgiving! They made me laugh, it was way too early to count down, in my opinion anyway. I’m tired today. It’s been emotionally exhausting worrying about Covid and positive cases and the rise in cases. I know I’m not alone in that I just want to celebrate Christmas; the birth of our Savior.

It’s funny though because I don’t want time to pass too quickly because the next you know you’re back at work. Plus I begin my program in February. I know I’ve written about this before, I’m partly excited to get started and partly dreading writing more papers. I’m dreading the papers because I don’t particularly care for research. Some issues are easy to find scientific approved articles and others are so difficult you wonder why you chose that subject in the first place. Plus the articles are only permitted to be about 4 years old. I haven’t even started yet and I’m already complaining.

We’ve decided this year since we aren’t going anywhere due to Thomas and his tendency to be so structured; to have a brunch on Christmas Day with my mom and family. A change to what we usually do and I am looking forward to it. We’ll all be together for dinner as well; it will be nice.

I’ve given myself until February 2022 to start my Masters program. And it’s quickly approaching. The weeks up to Christmas seem to fly by and then I’ll only have another month before I begin my classes. I’m still apprehensive about returning for my masters. I guess that’s normal, right? It’s funny only in the past 5 years of my nursing career have I really thought of myself as a “real” nurse. When I was a stay at home mom I was always, “Thomas’ Alyssa’s, Daniella’s or Samantha’s mom.” My dad told me when I had Thomas that I no longer had a name I was now “Thomas’ mom”. He was right. Even when I worked part time as a nurse I didn’t really feel like a nurse. Maybe when I worked at the pulmonologist/allergist’s office because I became adept at identifying lung sounds and I did a lot of patient teaching for use of medications and allergy testing. Too bad the pay was crap.

So these days I find myself doing all sorts of different nursing tasks. The student population at my school is so diverse. There are high functioning students with typical health need’s and there are medically fragile students. The medically fragile students are on a sort of spectrum with some more fragile than others. Working here sort of changes your view of what healthy means. There is a nursing theorist, Betty Neumann who theorized that health is a continuum. I totally get that. There are many students that are fed via a gastrostomy tube or are diagnosed with seizure disorder or metabolic disorder who are “healthy” according to their personal continuum. I find that interesting.

So in February, if all goes well I’ll begin the Master of Nursing program. I’m not sure where I’ll go with this Masters degree. If I’ll look for another position for work, stay with the city, I have no idea. Right now I have no desire to leave where I currently work, any change in job right now would be a lateral move and I wouldn’t be off weekends and holidays, something I’ve grown so very fond of.