Christmas Eve this year landed on a Sunday. Sunday is Thomas’ day to come to our house and have dinner; leaving immediately after he takes his meds at 6 pm. No budging on the schedule. This year we were invited to celebrate Christmas Eve with my husband’s family, to arrive there around 3 in the afternoon. We were not planning to bring Thomas due to his schedule and the fact that we were celebrating Christmas Day with my family and Thomas the following day.

I called the group home to speak with Thomas and tell him we would see him on Christmas Day. He became very upset which in turn made me upset. I couldn’t take my son being upset and just blurted out that I would pick him up, thinking, “ok I’ll just stay with him until 6, bring him back and then head over to Tommy’s family.” This plan didn’t go over very well with Lelly and my husband. Lelly became upset because she wanted to spend time with and have dinner with Tommy and I and not watch me be distracted because I was busy with Thomas. She wanted my full attention. A simple enough request.

Tommy took control of the situation, called the group home and explained that we were going out later, could we spend the afternoon with Thomas and would a staff member be there earlier than usual to meet Thomas back at the house. Things were settled.

I never realized that I wasn’t giving everyone my full attention. Not that that’s even possible. Yes we all multitask and split our attention but in the end someone ends up unhappy because they aren’t feeling recognized; that they need your attention as well. I not so proudly admit that I don’t give Alyssa and Lelly the attention Thomas gets. In my head I rationalize that with them being neurotypical; they don’t need me as much as Thomas does. I couldn’t be more so very wrong. Alyssa and Lelly need me more sometimes and it’s my responsibility to meet their needs. Even if it means Thomas’ needs are set aside temporarily.

I know all my kids know I love them. A ton. If I didn’t have Alyssa and Lelly to keep me grounded and appreciate raising typical children when things were so hard raising Thomas; I don’t know what I would have done or how I would have turned out as a person. They both influenced my growing as a parent. And for that I can’t thank them enough.

We had work done in our attic recently, before Thanksgiving. The attic is finished and we have storage areas that we keep Christmas decorations in among other “stuff”. Somehow, one of my boxes of favorite ornaments was moved from its designated storage place, placed elsewhere and no one told me. After Thanksgiving, Tommy and I put the Christmas tree up and brought various boxes down from the attic. I had no problem finding the majority of my Christmas decorations, nativity, crèche, handmade stockings, etc…

As I decorated the tree I noticed the one box of ornaments missing. I kept going up to the attic and looking and searching. Alyssa and Sam were here for dinner and I told Alyssa I couldn’t find the one box. Alyssa said she noticed certain ornaments missing from the tree and agreed I was short that one box. Finally I looked in a totally different storage area of the attic, one that does not contain Christmas items and there it was, the infamous box of missing ornaments.

This precious box holds my most favorite and sentimental Christmas ornaments. The ones that were made by my children when they were much younger. I love these the most. I get a kick each year out of each one when I decorate the Christmas tree. Most of the ornament creating began in the preschool years, Some unfortunately didn’t make it through the years. But most survived. Thomas is 27 and the wooden snowman managed to make it through the years.

When my kids were younger and breakable ornaments weren’t really an option I would trim the tree with the majority of their handmade ornaments. I loved it. Our tree was unique. Things are different these days; everyone is grown (with the exception of our new kitten wearing glitter believing the Christmas tree is his own personal toy hanger). The “breakable” ornaments of the past are no longer the most fragile ones. It’s these awesome colored paper and glue creations that hang on the branches higher up on the tree to hopefully keep them safe to enjoy another year that I protect the most.