Raising four children has not been without challenges. Some experiences were eye opening in a good way and changed my perspective of parenting and other situations knocked us flat on our ass. Before I had children, I had this vision of what life would be like. I would not have kids that were screamers (haha!) and I would be patient all the time because you know they’re just kids….and lest we forget the infamous, “I’m not going to plop my kids in front of the tv.” I could go on, it’s quite amusing. Of course all is mostly wonderful during the newborn/infant stage since they don’t talk back and they usually like the person who feeds them.

As our kids grew and moved through different seasons of maturing there were difficult times where decisions had to be made. For us raising Thomas is where the most gut wrenching decisions began. When he was a young child we chose to have him take medication prescribed by a very trusted specialist. Unfortunately the medications, specialists and therapists were not enough to keep everyone safe and we followed the experts’ recommendation to have Thomas attend a residential school. That was not an easy decision to make and we had to put aside what we as parents wanted and put what was best for Thomas in the forefront.

With Alyssa and Lelly being typical children, raising them was the complete flip side of raising Thomas. They were so neurotypical it’s like they both read a growth and development textbook to know which milestone to meet next. They kept my sanity quite a few times.

In 2006, I gave birth to Samantha. Omg Samantha was amazing to me. I had had 2 losses before her. In the hospital I was tearfully hugging and thanking my doctor (whom I adored) for giving Samantha to me safe and sound. Thomas was 10, Alyssa 8, and Lelly 5. We were officially a family of 6.

I used to worry that I was being judged when I was pregnant with Samantha. I felt as though people were talking behind my back, “Oh look, they can’t handle their oldest kid, but here they go having another!” After a while I got over it and came to the realization that no one else was living my life so there weren’t any opinions that mattered besides mine and Tommy’s.

To this day I try to keep that attitude, especially since we aren’t finished raising our kids, Samantha is 17. Just because she turns 18 this year doesn’t mean we will be “finished”. Nor does that mean people in our lives will agree with or understand decisions Tommy and I make. If I didn’t ask for an opinion, one can keep it to themselves.

This morning I shoveled the light-weight snow we received early this morning, took Samantha for bloodwork, and then went food shopping. I was up early don’t ask why. After we put the groceries away we decided to hit the thrift store. It was nice and not crowded. You really never know what to expect on a Saturday.

I come from a long line of yard sale-ing and thrift shoppers. My grandparents were avid yard sale-ers and collectors. When we were young kids, my grandfather used to get the Saturday paper, gather my sister and I and hit the yard sales advertised where we live. Every now and then he would take us into Manhattan (back when you were allowed to take your car on the ferry). The ferry would dock and we usually drove to a very old and dusty shop downtown. I remember that’s where he bought coins he used to collect. Then we would drive back to the ferry, park the car on the boat and come back. My sister and I loved it.

My parents were also never ones to turn their noses up on a passing yard sale, or interesting things on the side of the road. My dad used to often tell me of the great buys his mother would score at the thrift store, like new, warm jackets and shirts for him. My father’s mother was of Scottish descent and he always referenced that when he talked about his “frugality” and/or cheapness.

My mother and my grandfather (her father) were always finding and bringing home “stuff” people were putting out for the trash. Bicycles, antique trunks, etc…you name it.

I love thrifting; you never know what you’ll find. It’s like a treasure hunt in my eyes. I am a fount of useless designer bag and clothing information. Well useless unless you’re at the thrift store, haha! If I am unsure of the value of something or want to know more about a brand name, google is my bff. Although there have been many times when google is stumped and I use my thrifting judgment. I’ve been very fortunate in sorting out what is not quality and what is an awesome deal.

I’ve had many what my dad used to call a “shopper’s sky”, meaning it was a great thrifting day. And a great day at the thrift could mean I’ve found anything that I consider a score. I try to stick to what I know. Jewelry not so much. I have gotten lucky a couple of times but not often. My aunt Marge knew her jewelry and amassed a crazy collection. I try to not let my obsession with bags get to that point although my husband would beg to differ.