This past week I received a phone call from Thomas’ day program. They rarely to never call me. I didn’t recognize the number, a local number and I picked up. The woman introduced herself from the day program and asked to speak to me. I’m like, yeeesssss…this is she… The woman tells me Thomas was cursing at one of the day program staff and the staff member pushed Thomas. They are investigating the incident. I asked if Thomas was ok, was he hurt and she assured me he was not. He was pushed away by the staff member, not pushed on the ground. I was quiet for a minute, taking it in. I really didn’t know what to say. I know my son. I know he curses at staff. I also know people have a breaking point. But…putting hands on a special needs person is not the answer. I thanked the woman for letting me know.
I told my husband about the incident. He knows Thomas curses and he knows our son. Thomas’ care manager spoke with Tommy and said the staff member was put on leave during the investigation. I think that is fair.
I still feel pretty quiet about this incident. Thomas; even though he’s an adult, even though he doesn’t live with us and even though he literally put me through hell; he’s still mine. I’ve felt that he would always be mine since Thomas was a very young child. I felt in my gut many glimpses of Thomas’ future when he was less than 2 years old. We knew nothing of his diagnosis and level of functioning at that time. I’m sure many people will understand.
I don’t think the person who pushed my son should be working with disabled persons. Whether the disability is physical and grossly apparent or somewhat hidden. I did not become angry when I learned Thomas was pushed. To be transparent and honest there was a small part of me thinking, well no one wants to be cursed at. Nonetheless it is unacceptable. Thomas has moments when he lacks control. It is up to those who are paid to be in his presence to maintain their own control.
Menay O; mom to 4, Christian and thrift shopper on the side... 
I’m so sorry this happened to Thomas and relieved that he wasn’t hurt. This is not a person who should be working with special needs. Challenging behaviors come with the territory and under no circumstances should staff react negatively or dare put their hands on an individual. Staff are provided with training and resources and have the opportunity to switch out with other staff if they feel frustrated or overwhelmed. Trust me when I tell you, being cursed at is mininimal. My time in the field, I have been cursed at, Spit on and Worked with individuals who were extremely physically aggressive.. Of course, no one enjoys that, but it comes with the territory, and staff have to be able to maintain self control, including not responding negatively verbally or by expression. Never mind, putting their hands on someone.
Thankfully, someone reported this. It is protocol to completely remove the staff from contact until the investigation is complete. In my 19 years working at that agency, the investigations were very thorough and If the event is founded The person will be terminated And thankfully, never able to work with special needs ever again at any agency. Allegations of abuse are reported to the justice department. The agency should let you know that you are entitled to a meeting upon the conclusion. I believe it’s called Jonathan‘s law. Again , im so sorry this happened to Thomas.
Thank you so much, I will message you when I hear anything.