Thanksgiving. Often an overlooked holiday, a hop, skip and jump to Christmas. Especially when it comes to the retail world. Today, Thanksgiving Day, I am thankful. Thankful for the life I have. Years ago I never would have imagined my home as peaceful as it is now.

Life is tough raising children and preparing for the holiday season. There were many Thanksgivings when Tommy had to drive up to Yonkers to get Thomas from residential school, have him spend the 4 day weekend with us and then take that drive again to bring him back. It was difficult. It didn’t make us doubt our decision to have him attend residential school, it made us very sad of the reality in front of us.

I’m grateful those days are behind us. Thomas is settled in a group home 10 minutes from our house and considers his home; his house. I’m quite thankful for my husband. We celebrated our 29th wedding anniversary this past month. On paper 29 years looks like many years. In real life, living it; it does not feel like that many years. Time can be so elusive, flying by some years and slowly crawling other days or weeks. I’m thankful we are in the place we are now.

So far in my lifetime I’ve learned more than I thought I ever would. Raising 4 distinctly different children and learning what makes each one tick has been something I never imagined in my wildest dreams. I’m grateful God gifted me with the ability to be their mother. I am far, far from perfect. I’m human.

I’m thankful my kids talk to me; really talk to me. And tell me the truth. There are times the truth isn’t pretty but it is real. I’d rather have the truth in my face than some made up unreal fantasy. Fantasies have a way of falling apart. In doing so they can only present the truth that’s been hidden all along.

I wish everyone a wonderful weekend full of blessings.

My best coworker friend has been out this week for a few days. When one of us take off we pray for the other one working that central office sends a replacement nurse who is able to keep up with our heavy assignments. Wednesday went pretty well, the nurse was experienced and mostly needed direction of what to do and where to go. I’ve blocked the majority of Thursday morning out of my mind due to extreme emotional and mental anguish. Thankfully the afternoon was salvaged by the deliverance of a nurse I worked with in the past who is an amazing person and an awesome nurse.

The following day was Friday! I arrived to work, clocked in my usual time and was cautiously optimistic that a competent coverage nurse would arrive. I came around the corner of where our file cabinets are and this younger than me person was standing in the office. She introduced herself and I asked if she was here for trip coverage or school coverage. She answered school coverage. Without missing a beat I asked if she was familiar with the procedures we perform daily. She said yes! Then she says, but I’ve only been a nurse for a year, I’m working at a local hospital and they aren’t very nice. I was so nervous about coming here. This is my first school coverage assignment. I smiled and said, you’re fine; you’re here, what ever you need to know I’ll show you. I said, I know nurses eat their young, but I’m not like that. I’ve been in your shoes and I know what it’s like to be treated “not nice”.

Visibly relieved, the nurse said how happy she was that she would be working with me. I felt so flattered. The work day began and we went over various nursing procedures. She picked up super fast and the morning went really well. I introduced my new co worker to the staff and some of my favorite students. You have to understand the population of the school I work at; the students are very unique and some have rare diagnosis. At one point the nurse was crying in the hallway. She said I’m sorry I’m getting emotional. I said, it’s fine; really. And waited for her to be ready to move on down the hallway. I honestly forget that there are people in this world who have no idea the students in my school exist nevermind attend school daily.

We had a relatively uneventful day. Quite a few of the students who need nursing care were absent. With a bit of extra time, covering nurse and I were able to talk a bit. She asked about Thomas and I gave the briefest summary of our life with him. She was so interested in my story.

I did not at all mind teaching her about our students. She picked everything up very quickly and I was confident in her knowledge and nursing skills. Not all nurses are the same. Some have more heart than others and some are more knowledgeable in procedural skills. I’ve been blessed to work with many gifted nurses. And I’ve also been fortunate to be able to pass on what I know to others.

My last post was concerning a report from Thomas’ day program that a staff member had pushed Thomas because Thomas was cursing at him. Unacceptable. No one should be putting their hands on Thomas period. I call the day program earlier this week and was told the push allegation was “unfounded” however the staff member did curse at Thomas. Still unacceptable. This staff member will be provided with re-training, extra training, blah blah. I said I wanted that staff member away from my son. I was asked if I wanted a meeting, with the day program I declined.

Thankfully I call a wonderful resource and friend who knows the situation and she advises me to absolutely have a meeting. Solid, great advice, thank you Jenn!! I call the program and let them know I changed my mind and absolutely want a meeting at my convenience, I’m not taking a day off so we can meet in the morning, nope. I work until 2:30. I’m called back with a convenient time (after I’m off work) and day.

I’m the meantime I’m also waiting to speak with Thomas’ psychiatrist who has been lowering his meds (why? I have no idea. As his legal guardian I was NEVER consulted). Finally get the psychiatrist on the phone, and introduce myself and slowly and deliberately. I asked why Thomas’ meds have been lowered more than one, the answer; I haven’t lowered that many”. (OMG) I mention that since lowering his meds he is cursing at the group home and day program, not to mention other behaviors that are increasing, that this is unacceptable. I deliberately instruct her that I am not only Thomas’ mother, he also has 2 legal guardians, myself and my husband, and we have NEVER been notified of med changes. Does she ask the group home staff about his behavior? I don’t know how to describe someone hemming and hawing but you get the picture. I had this distinct mental picture of a person looking at me while walking backwards. She then says that the group home nurse said i wanted a different psychiatrist. I said oh yes I do! She said she would let the person who does the assignments know. I hung up. These are the times you yearn for a grand slamming down of the receiver.

I find it unreal that a physician can fuck up, get super quiet and then push her patient onto another practitioner. If anyone can explain this to me I would gladly listen.

I next find out who the assignment person is. Found her in about 5 minutes on the phone. Call, get asked to leave a voicemail. Again I slowly and deliberately say who I am and that Thomas NEEDS a new psychiatrist; he could run out of meds and I can’t have this!

I get a call the next day. He has a new psych, an appointment next week and I will be informing her to telephone me in.

I have to say it felt a bit good to open my experienced, educated mouth and I did not curse once. I have not had to speak up recently. You don’t fuck with my kids and their mental stability.