I never thought what my kids would be like as adults when they were children. Most of the time I was trying to get through the day and hoping I was doing a good job. Especially those days when Thomas was off the hook and we didn’t have an accurate diagnosis. Every now and then my girls will bring up dinners I prepared when they were much younger. Yes I had a tendency to repeat certain choices. In my defense cooking dinner and making sure all were safe in the living room was not an easy combo back in the day. In the same conversation with the girls I’ll say, “Oh poor you! You had a mother who cooked dinner for you every night… besides, you lived!” Ha! These days with everyone out of the house except Samantha, Tommy does the majority of cooking dinner. Yes, I completely adore him for this. He’s such a great cook and not afraid to try new things. If Tommy is working late I fall back to my old regulars, then again there’s always tacos!

I really, really enjoy my kids as adults. When we have dinner together it’s nice; comfortable. For whatever reason Thomas insists on eating at the kitchen island which is completely fine. We are just a few feet away at the dining room table. My girls talk and laugh. It’s nice. I like them being together. Thomas talks too but only what he wants to tell us. Or he likes to say that he needs new (insert: socks/shirts/underwear/etc). Meanwhile he does not. The man likes to shop. And he knows his meds. The last time I picked him up he kept saying, Mom I’m missing a “7”. ( 7:00 medication) Well homeboy was right. Come to find out he had been without a med that pretty much holds his behavior together for more than a day or so. I was not with another med issue. It was taken care of but still. Being on top of things does not stop when you have a Thomas.

When everyone was younger I couldn’t imagine what kind of adult anyone would be. But in retrospect the writing was on the wall. Thomas has his own category. Our first baby. We totally adored him. He was an incredibly pleasant baby. When I returned to work I used to keep a small framed picture of him on my med cart. Everyone got a kick out of that.

Thomas taught me a ton; such as to be his advocate, to not be afraid to speak up loudly no matter who I was dealing with, and most importantly I was taught me that he is mine. Thomas changed me and humbled me.

Alyssa was an amazing baby hitting every milestone on time as if she read the baby development book. She was so very sweet. A tantrum here and there. But for the most part Alyssa was amazing, refreshing and kind. So smart, in all grades up to high school she was in honor classes. My Alyssa said she was graduating college in 4 years and kept true to her word.

Lelly was a very fun child with that smile and OMG fast legs! She walked early, ran early and rode that tricycle down the street in lightening speed. We called her “the bird” she was my smallest baby at 7.5 pounds and my father in law said she looked like his mother. I loved that for him, we do not have one picture of Chick’s mother. Daniella was also referred to as the feel good baby. She smiled so much you could not help to smile with her.

Samantha was/is totally and completely her own person. When we found out she was a girl, my first thought was, “oh, okay…I’m raising 2 other girls…I got this.” Ha! Freaking know it all I was. I did not remember that all children are their own person.

Their personalities as children do come through as they reach adulthood. Thomas, (when his meds aren’t effed with) is pleasant, affectionate and “gets” sarcasm. He understands more than you think and will speak up if he knows something is off.

My Alyssa, still sweet, still meeting set goals and still amazing to Tommy and me. She is independent and has her own family with her husband Sam. They are living a life that is their own.

Lelly, after running so fast as a child, managed to talk the powers that be in high school into allowing her to graduate a semester early. She slid into college at the last hours that applications were being taken and then; graduated with her bachelor’s degree a semester early. She moved into her apartment in Manhattan 4 months after graduating college at age 21.

Samantha. Sam. The 4th and youngest. She is like no other of our children. And that’s ok. She’s herself and her own person Still keeping us on our toes. Sam is still growing and I’m grateful to witness that growth. Sam speaks her mind and is very independent.

When everyone was younger, like when Thomas was 10, Alyssa 8, Daniella 5 and Samantha just born, our house and hearts were so full. I often hear a saying in my head, “the days are long but the years are short”. So freaking true! Thomas will turn 29 in July. It’s hard for me to believe I’ve been his mother for that long. That I survived all the evaluations, diagnosis (correct and incorrect), IEP meetings, medication decisions, residential school decision, driving 2 hours for meetings at said residential school. Sigh. I would do it all over again.

Enjoy your kids. Whether they’re young or older. There are many difficult seasons and many happy seasons, as well as peaceful seasons. Sometimes you have to let go. I could wax poetic for days, but I won’t.