I’ve spoken with many mothers of special needs children/adults/“kids”. It’s usually the mothers who want to talk. Men handle special needs parenting differently than women. Neither handle the situation better than the other per se. Mothers; although not all, seem more vocal and expressive.
I recently met with a mom of a special needs daughter. Her story is very different than mine as well as her reactions to the challenges put before her. Honestly it was interesting. I like the mom, she’s very honest and straightforward. Good qualities. However due to the extreme differences in challenges we’ve each faced over the years I had a difficult time relating to her life. We had extreme differences in challenges we faced with our respective children.
I’ve met parents whose special needs child is their only child or their last/youngest child. It makes me wonder, if Tommy and I were aware of what we were to face in raising Thomas, would we have stopped having children at least after Alyssa (our second); and missed out on the joy of our Lelly? Missed out on Samantha?I’m fairly certain we are a rarity with our oldest being special needs.
I’m so grateful for my girls and their typical-ness. They allowed me into a world I would never have known first hand if they weren’t our children. I advocated for them when needed, however it was night and day compared to advocating for Thomas. Like I couldn’t understand why I was fighting so freaking hard to have Lelly NOT hang her jacket in a stupid crowded closet during winter. I was trying to avoid yet another horrid case of lice for crying out loud. To appease me the principal had the teacher clean out a closet used for storage for my Lelly to hang her jacket in. Her’s alone. Oh. My. Gosh!! I found that effin’ hysterical!
All our journeys are individual with similar experiences overlapping here and there. I’m forever grateful for my people who walked with me when they could, and those who provided never ending support. Thomas is 29 years old. The journey is not over.
Menay O; mom to 4, Christian and thrift shopper on the side... 