I grew up in a middle class family; mom, dad, 3 kids and usually 2 dogs, at one time 3 dogs. I can’t say we wanted for or were denied anything as far as material possessions. Big gifts were for Christmas or birthdays. We did the “OG” back to school clothes shopping. We went to public school so no uniforms. New shoes for school. Sneakers usually for gym. At that time, like grammar school up to junior high years; name brands weren’t that big. Until the designer jeans trend exploded all over.

By the time I arrived at high school all I wanted were Levi’s jeans and my dad’s flannel shirt worn over the pre-requisite heavy metal concert t shirt. Daddy was so good natured about it too. He never complained, even when he rarely saw a particular flannel shirt again unless my sister or I were wearing it. At first he would say, hey put my shirt back, you’ll get bumps all in the front of it. Haha.

I was a “rocker” in high school. Went to a lot of heavy metal concerts. My first concert was Iron Maiden at the Garden. I cut school that day with a few friends to buy tickets. So many of my friends were going and we were taking the ferry then the subway. We all needed a ride to the ferry. My dad drove this work van. Omg it was no surprise my dad had this van. He drove all sorts of work trucks and vans. It was carpeted inside! Bahaha, no bed thank goodness that really would have been ewwww. My dad offered to bring us all to the ferry terminal. There was I think about 8 of us? We looked like a clown car when my dad dropped us off. People stopped and got out of their cars to count us getting out of the van. My dad was laughing so hard.

We saw local bands at clubs either here on the Island or in a larger well known club in Brooklyn. It depended on who was playing and who was driving. There was always a mosh pit going on. I avoided the mosh pit like the plaque; except for the one Slayer show in Brooklyn when the band came out and I was literally in the middle of a mosh. It was horrible I didn’t know where to go. I was literally thrown and landed up in the men’s room somehow. It was actually fine I just wanted out of the pit. I watched Tommy play drums at various studios for band rehearsal. And watched him play out. It was great. I was so proud of him.

We had really great times. I am glad there wasn’t social media back in the day. All of us had amazing memories and there were a few who always had a camera. It was fun to drop off the film and wait to see which pictures came out good, bad or omg! The teasing was fierce, mistakes were made and lessons learned. I realize how fortunate I was to have a great boyfriend, amazingly close friends and parents who welcomed everyone we brought home. Good times 😊.

Thirty years ago while honeymooning in Hawaii, Tommy and I were laying on the beach talking about how beautiful Maui was, the beach was amazing, we couldn’t believe we were there and married.

I moved in with Tommy about 6 months before we were married. I never pretended we were married during that time. Then finally the day arrived. To recite vows in church; witnessed by family and friends; changes you. It did me. I felt so connected to Tommy, legally connected in a way, but not in a bad/restricted manner. More like public/declaration. A marriage license is so much more than a piece of paper.

Getting back to Maui; I was just pregnant with Thomas and we wondered what he would be like. Of course we didn’t know he was a boy or any other details at the time. We imagined returning to Hawaii for our 20th anniversary and “the baby” would be 19. Would we be able to, would there be other children, after this one? We did not plan on 4. More like 3. However as much as one likes to believe they are in control, we are not. We make choices but that doesn’t mean we make the best choices or the outcome of those choices is what you expect.

Tommy and I had to make choices for Thomas that would affect the whole family. I was talking to someone today about when Tommy and I met Thomas’ first psychiatrist in Manhattan. Thomas was almost 6 years old. The doctor gave us his diagnosis and his recommended medications. We did not take this lightly. The doctor told us to discuss the situation and call him in a week or so with our decision. Then he said, “I hope you don’t think if you don’t do anything, if you don’t put Thomas on medication that you haven’t made a choice. You have made the choice to do nothing.” That resonated with me then and still does.

I don’t spend much time ruminating over decisions Tommy and I have made. There’s no point. I do wish we were never put in the situations we experienced. “We did the best we could with what we knew. When we knew more, we did better” as per Maya Angelou.

About 10 years ago I knew nothing of the world of enhancing facial features. It began with me first seeing an ad for semi permanent tattooing; having my eyebrows micro shaded. As a victim of the thin eyebrow phase so many years ago, I did not like my brows at all. It seemed I could do nothing to grow them back. I never had thick brows to begin with, and I have somewhat of a fair complexion when not tan. My brows bothered no one but me. So I took the plunge and made the appointment to have my eyebrows micro bladed. The artist tattoos strokes of ink to give a more natural appearance. Due to the artist who started my work then quit without telling me; I ended up with micro shading (finished by a different artist) which is a more solid eyebrow appearance. They came out nice so all was well.

This past Tuesday I had my brows micro shaded again since the color had faded. Yes it hurt. More than my tattoos and from what I remember more than the first time. The artist began with a numbing cream but after a few passes of depositing color and filling in various areas; it hurt like hell. It’s not even as deep as a regular tattoo. Anyway the procedure took about 2 hours and I was more than done. I have to mention when the procedure is done the brows are very dark and much thicker than you expect. I looked like the baby with one dark eyebrow from an old episode of the Simpsons. Samantha was very supportive by giggling every time she looked at me. Feeling the love.

I texted Tommy at work to warn him before he came home but wouldn’t send a picture. I did send a pic of the cartoon baby with one eyebrow. He came home and hugged me. I have a great husband. Yes he did laugh for about 2 days but I can take it from him.

I return to work tomorrow. We’ve been off from work since December 24 for the Christmas break. Thank goodness the brows have lightened up a little and the swelling is gone which only enhanced the thick appearance. I texted pics to my middle daughter and Meg the nurse I work with. Both will give honest feedback. They both gave the green light. Whew! I feared a new work nick name.