Yesterday afternoon we said goodbye to Brant, a man we have known over 30 years. He died suddenly, and even though we hadn’t spoken in a while the news hit hard. Harder than I thought it would. Brant was very close to us during very trying times in our life. When Thomas was about 3 years old, I received news in the most cold hearted manner from a “professional” that my son is mentally retarded. Of course I was upset and came home crying. Brant was already at my house with Tommy. As soon as I entered the kitchen I was told to get my bag, we were going to the movies and Tommy was staying home with the kids. We saw “American Pie.” It was a great time.

Yesterday was sad. Actually the days leading up to yesterday were actually sadder because of the processing and realization that Brant is gone. Memories come back in a flood. You’re careful what you talk about because you know you’ll cry. Brant took the ride with me to Westchester one of the times we had to hospitalize Thomas. Tommy was working and my mom was watching the girls. Brant was so good like that. It didn’t matter that the hospital was an hour and a half away. I saw the sign for a Nordstrom Rack store on the way home. I just looked at Brant and he was like, “of course we’ll stop Menay, you need a new pair of shoes.”

That’s just one of the many times he was there for us, no questions asked. And I know many of our friends have had the same experience when it came to Brant. The funeral was so, so bittersweet. Saying good bye and at the same time seeing faces you haven’t seen in many years. Reminiscing about the good times, the way we all communicated without cell phones. How we knew where to find each other. The keg parties and of course the wonderful lack of proof that it all happened since not everyone brought a camera and social media did not exist. There are pictures of course. A lot of us have them. I do miss those days, but I wouldn’t want to relive them in today’s world.

It’s odd how you see people you rarely if ever see anymore; unless there is a sad gathering. One of the guys I was friends with years ago was pretty wild back in the day. And we reminisced and laughed at the jokes we had and stealing a bread delivery at 5am on a random Sunday. One of our friends, Mike asked me how long Tommy and I have been married. I answered “30 years”. He then said, and how long were you together before that? Before I could answer Mike called Tommy and I the “OG couple” I found that totally funny.

My kids grew up with Uncle Brant in their lives. He helped us a ton watching the girls when Thomas had an appointment. I didn’t mention that Brant was over 6 feet tall, weighing an easy 250lbs at least, maybe more I’m terrible with estimates. My kids loved him. I have to admit it was really funny to introduce the girls’ boyfriends to Brant when they were at the house. The look on the young man’s face was usually priceless. Brant didn’t need to speak a word, he simply stood tall, behind them.

I hope you’re resting in peace Brant.