We were once a 3 cat family in addition to 2 dogs. The dogs are Riley, a golden retriever and lab mix, she was a rescue; our current 2nd dog is also a rescue named Lola. Lola is a bit on the anxious side. She will bark at the mailman, the UPS truck driving by, Amazon truck driving by. And God forbid you ring the doorbell. All hell breaks loose with Lola. One afternoon I was sitting in the kitchen at our island and someone from a political party or some other ridiculous representation rang my bell. Lola went apeshit and I wasn’t in the mood to deal with this person who totally destroyed my quiet. I yelled, “Good bye! Bye! You made my dog bark, bye!” From the kitchen. The person left.

Unfortunately 2 of our cats passed away. Smokey who was just an awesome, friendly, nobody bothers me cat; we think a Russian Blue mix. And Cash my gorgeous, long haired, timid, loved to hang out in the basement, purebred who knows what kind of cat. Cash was my cat.

So I visit a local, national pet store chain who has cats on display for a cat rescue group. Tommy and I went yesterday to see a cat that we really like. We fill out the application and we’re told they need to do a home visit. Ok. The woman comes today to do the visit. Lola is being Lola even though she’s medicated these days (not that you would even know). Riley is her wonderful, warm friendly self. The woman looks all around the first floor. Then asks to go upstairs…ok…then she asks to go in the basement. Jeez. Tommy goes with her because our basement stairs are kind of scary.

After this whole home visit the woman says she has to present us to “the board.” Hmmm. Interesting. She’s concerned because the cat we want to adopt is 4 yrs old and the cat we have, Belle is 15yrs old. Would we like to adopt 2 cats? No! She said she would call us with their answer. It was an interesting afternoon.

We went to the mall yesterday. I haven’t been to the mall in a few months; I usually stick to just Macys. I first stop at the handbag department of course, then shoes and then of course all the clothing sale racks and end with “last act” area. I can be in Macys forever and then be tired of shopping and leave without seeing the rest of the mall.

So today Sam suggested we go to the mall. I already did the grocery shopping this morning and it was kind of rainy so I was open to suggestions. We began in Macys of course; Sam knows the routine. We stopped in the shoe department where we both had fun trying on shoes that were not our style (think 6 inch platform heels on Sam, haha). We had great laughs, it was nice to laugh with her. Sam wanted to leave after the shoe department but no way, we just got there!

So we compromised at going to American Eagle just outside Macys. I don’t usually shop there but I was in the mood for someplace different than Macys. We both did great! And we discovered we are terrible at picking out clothes for each other haha. Shirts I thought would be great for her, Sam hated or gave me “the look”. Tops that Sam thought were very me…not so much. It was funny and we both laughed at each others poor taste.

I loved laughing with her, I swear laughing with my kids is just the best.

I don’t know if this is a made up day or what. But I figured I’d go with it and write about my girls. Girls…not really “girls” more like one young soon to be adult and 2 young ladies. I’m so proud of all of them of course. They’ve each chosen their own different paths in life. Alyssa now 25, married at age 22 years after graduating with her bachelors degree; Daniella (Lelly) age 22 is living on her own in an apartment Manhattan after graduating early with her bachelors; Sam age 17 in her senior year of high school figuring things out.

I never thought I would have one girl, never mind three. Boys ran very strong in Tommy’s family. We didn’t find out Alyssa’s gender, choosing to be surprised. And oh man was she a surprise. I didn’t even have a girls name picked out. Only boys names. Alyssa was nameless for 2 days, literally. Tommy wanted a fairly traditional name, I wasn’t sure what I wanted, but we finally settled on the name Alyssa and it fit her perfectly.

Daniella was easy to name for whatever reason but Thomas who was 5 and speech delayed morphed her name into the nickname “Lelly”. And because she was my smallest baby at 7.5lbs we expanded on her nickname to Lelly-bird.” To this day we either call her Lelly or simply The bird.

I had a very difficult time naming Samantha. For whatever reason I had my grandmother’s name that she was given at birth, Emilia in mind. But…when I saw Samantha she totally did not fit that name. I remember reading that the name Samuel meant “and God heard” so I was thinking of the name Samantha, since I had 2 losses before her. God did hear me of that I’m certain. So Samantha she became!

I really enjoy my girls. With Thomas being special needs and all the challenges and advocating he required it was nice to just have kids in school. There were only a handful of times I had to call the grammar school for the girls and the administrators deserved my wrath. Most of the time I was like, seriously??? And for God’s sake why?? Especially after attending many IEP meetings and multiple doctors appointments for Thomas. A real kicker was when Samantha broke her leg right before starting 7th grade. I went with her the first day, was told to return with a doctors note, did that and then find out the powers that be in her school wouldn’t assign her a para to help her get around in a school without an elevator. Things were straightened out with a little help from friends and a para was assigned short term.

I love hanging out with my girls. Everyone was here yesterday for dinner. It’s fun to see firsthand their similarities and differences all at the same time. They all make me laugh in different ways and I love spending time with them. A week or so ago I had a dream and Alyssa and Thomas were toddlers in the dream. It was wild to see them that way now, you know? I cried when I Tommy. Not because I miss them when they were small, but to be able to get a small glimpse of them, then; you know?

Twelve years ago on a Saturday morning this beautiful cat appeared on my neighbors front steps. We fed her since we already had a cat (and cat food) and the next thing I know she was on our front stoop. My neighbor put up signs in the neighborhood and put this cat’s picture all over social media at the time. No one came to claim her. Tommy was telling me that we weren’t taking her in, forget it, no.

Monday came around and I managed to get this cat in a carrier and drove with her to the other side of the island to the animal control center to see if she was chipped. They scanned her and there was no chip. They practically pushed me out the door saying goodbye enjoy your cat! They did not want to take another stray cat in. I them took her to our vet to make sure she was healthy. The vet said this cat was about 8 months old, female, not spayed, and drew blood for various tests. I went to pay the receptionist and I said, OMG, this cat isn’t really mine, she doesn’t even have a name! The woman took my money and said, “Cash Menay, her name is Cash!” Perfect. Tommy came home from work and asked me how my day was and I said, “Oh I don’t want to talk about it, all the running around and money I spent on that cat…”. Tommy was puzzled and said, what cat? The cat from the weekend, Tommy was like no, no we are not bringing that cat in here.

The next day the vet’s office calls and says Cash is healthy as per the blood tests they ran. So I go to the front stoop and bring her on the house. She was so scared she ran down the basement. Tommy comes home with a friend to work in the basement and says, “Why is there a cat that’s NOT mine in my basement??” I gave every reason and explanation I had to get to keep her. And my husband conceded. Cash was home.

Tommy and I spent this past week with our daughter Alyssa and her husband (our son in law) Sam. It was a wonderful week. A bit on the quiet side but I think that’s what we needed. We could have made it more loud and exciting but meh that just isn’t us. We stayed in a great condo that was perfect for all of us. We were expecting 2 more guests but things didn’t work out, and that’s ok. Shit happens.

We visited Ocean City Maryland. It was really nice. A great shore town. We stayed on the north end of the boardwalk where I had read was much quieter than the southern end. Im really glad I read that before booking our stay. The other end of the boardwalk was your typical loud, shore town boardwalk with games, shops, bars, etc…. And a ton of people. We walked through the south end for a bit before we decided we had enough and turned around to leave.

The beach was very clean; I love the beach. On Wednesday I think, Tommy, Sam and Alyssa went kayaking. I declined and chose to spend the day at the beach alone. It was glorious. It wasn’t too hot and there was this incredible breeze just enough to cool you off. I went in the water which was surprisingly cool. Like cooler than I expected since it is August and we were a little further south. Anyway the water was cool but great. There’s nothing like having the incoming ocean crash on you. I know how to ride waves (Tommy taught me years ago) but I didn’t want to go that far in, wimp that I am.

My husband is great. On non beach days we went for a ride to check out the local Harley dealership. It was really cool, the people were nice. No we did not buy anything. On the way back we/I stopped at Homegoods; oh and we stopped at a Tractor Supply store. They had literally everything for almost every type of farm animal and cats and dogs. I’m the middle of the store were these 3 oval aluminum tubs. Each were full of 2 types of chicks and turkey chicks, chicks and baby ducks and 2 different types of baby chicks. Omg they were so stinking cute. However those things grow up so after our visit with the baby chicks we were on our way.

Of course we visited thrift shops, consignment shops, gift shops oh and the outlets. All the usual places you would find me if one thought I were lost. Tommy was so funny; he’s also very patient when I hit a good thrift store. It’s rare that he accompanies me to the thrift but we were all going so he was a good sport

It’s back to real life and all that it entails. I’m glad we were able to get away and I’m glad we spent that time with Sam and Alyssa. This week I hit the ground running Monday morning with an appointment and it just goes on from there. Here’s to a quiet rest of the summer for all of us!

Finally. Our last day of summer session was yesterday. I can’t say the day flew by, at one point in the morning time was dragging incredibly slow but then things picked up a bit to more of a normal pace. I had an appointment this morning but still slept in to 7:30 ish. I’m good with that. Tomorrow I’ll be up early again to have routine fasting blood work done. I hate fasting. But then it will be over quickly and I can go ahead and have my coffee and breakfast and go on with the day.

Today I went to the Sal Val for some thrift therapy and then on to the mall to have my eyebrows threaded. I did not buy any shoes or bags. Not to worry I feel fine. I didn’t see anything that could compete with all the shoes and bags I already have. And God knows I have a lot of both. The other day I was changing bags, texting Lelly for advice. Getting ready for vacation and Tommy actually said, “How many bags do you have!?” I said you don’t want to know and he answered back, “You’re right I DON’T want to know…”. Its a sickness I tell you, being a bag whore. And he’s not innocent in this whole debacle

Tommy bought me my first new Louis. At around the same time (like 10/11 years ago I think) Tommy had already successfully quit smoking and was getting on my case to quit as well. Of course I hemmed and hawed, I enjoyed smoking cigarettes. Then my husband said those magic words that I’ll never forget. “If you quit smoking; I’ll buy you another Louis Vuitton!” I said you’re on! I quit cold turkey. It was horrible really. To get through the anxiety fueled energy I cleaned, I cleaned out closets, parts of the attic. The sanitation men would empty our garbage pails and I would fill them up again right away. Thomas had a ball cleaning with me. I’m glad one of us was happy. Haha.

I don’t really miss smoking and I love my bag; aptly named my “I quit smoking bag.” Tommy bought me the bag but I wouldn’t use it until I earned it. Meaning until I added up the money I would have spent on smoking until it equaled the cost of the bag. It took about 3 months. The cost of a pack a day habit for 3 months equaled the cost of a Louis Vuitton bag. True story.

To my work family I wish you an awesome, amazing rest of the summer!!! Have a great time whatever you do!

Whooohooo! I know I shouldn’t complain, like really… it’s “only” been 6 weeks but for whatever reason it’s been a long 6 weeks. It’s not the kids, it’s not my co workers; I think it’s that we didn’t have much time off between the end of the school year in June and the start of summer session. We only had like 2-3 days off or something like that. And just because it’s summer it doesn’t make the students any less medically fragile. So my job, with the exception of a few students who don’t attend summer school; really isn’t incredibly easier during summer. We still have students who require procedures, meds, more procedures, etc….

I wouldn’t change working at my school for anything. I have the best coworker nurse that I share an office with, and my school has incredibly great paraprofessionals. They do a lot of work and I really appreciate them. The teachers at my school are so dedicated and show so much care for their students; and they know their students. It’s nice to be in and out of classrooms and perform procedures in classrooms where the atmosphere is so pleasant. It’s funny even classrooms with students that aren’t medically fragile that I’m not in and out of regularly; they never treat me like I’m interrupting them, even when I am. And the students are so polite and funny everyone wants to say, “hi!”. I really love my District 75 students.

So about this summer session; we are paid more money to work the summer yes that is true and only one of my deciding factors to choose to be there. However as far as working as a nurse at my school; it’s not a place you can work without compassion, patience and a heart. In other words you can’t work there just for the money. How can you do a job well if you don’t care about what you are doing? The majority of the students I provide care for depend on other people for just about everything in their lives. And I love being a part of providing that care. I don’t think there are many nursing positions one can work at with the sole reason being “the money”.

So let’s hope and pray for a quiet next 2 days while we wrap this summer session up.

My family has been in the middle of a storm for the past few months. I’ve written posts here and there eluding to the storm but in the interest of privacy, the details are kept quiet. I’m usually pretty transparent with my life, I don’t believe in a public persona of a perfect life. Ive unfriended people on social media for such expression. Seriously. Then I wonder who are they trying to convince? People who follow them or themselves?

Tommy and I have been fortunate that when a storm rolls in we hope our previour supporters. Raising Thomas and having him hospitalized and then in residential schools taught us that not everyone will understand your choices but true friends and family will support your choices and in turn support you. Even when they don’t agree with the direction you’re taking.

Tommy and I recently thought we saw the beginning of the end of this current storm. Not so. I’ve prayed and I will continue to pray. God finds a way when there is no way. Outcomes and next steps we were hoping for are not in His plan. So we continue to have faith and believe that God’s plan is better than our plan. Part of having faith is being patient in the waiting. Hurry up and wait.

Tomorrow really begins the summer session at the school I work at. We we scheduled to go in this past Monday; off for the 4th of July and return today for “orientation.” Ok…done. Went to work with no students to give care to. Tomorrow is when the students begin. I don’t mind working summer. The vibe is usually lighthearted and not as serious as from September to June. Of course there’s still school work being carried out and teachers teaching but there’s a summer theme and everyone works hard to carry out that theme. This summer the theme is “under the sea.” I like it.

This past weekend we celebrated Thomas’ birthday. He turned 27. 27…omg. I don’t see how that is possible. I really don’t. Man the years really do fly by. If you had told me when he was growing up in the middle of all the chaos that things would really, really turn out ok; I probably would have punched you out of anger and frustration. But things really did turn out okay. Thomas is happy (most of the time) living in the group home. He is happy when he comes here every Sunday and he loves his sisters. Things aren’t perfect but nothing is perfect.

I’m very happy with the group home arraignment. I recently was telling someone at work that Thomas lives in a group home and she gasped and with a sad look on her face said, “Oh that must kill you.” I think I shocked her when I told her I was fine with it. However she wasn’t a mom of a special needs child. She didn’t get it. That’s not to say all moms of those with special needs want their children in group homes. Very good friends of mine are content with having their son living at home with them. And that’s ok. They understand how I feel and usually know what my life was like back in the day and I understand how they feel by wanting to keep their son home with them.

What is so different for Tommy and I right now is the stage of life that we’re in. There’s only Samantha at home. And she’s not attention hungry, will cook for herself, likes going out with me and talks to me. After having 4 kids running around at different stages of their childhoods and all having different needs that had to be met, it’s really nice to soak up the quiet. I appreciate my husband more and being able to spend time with him alone. I appreciate that occasionally he won’t go out for a drink with friends because he says he’d rather be with me. That’s indescribable and very sweet.

I like where we are in life for the most part. With the kids mostly grown, Tommy and I have more independence than we’ve had in the past 25 years.

I wrote recently that I burned a bridge with a physician who had been caring for me for years. He restructured his practice and raised his prices ridiculously high and I was paying out of pocket to see him. Yes, I was reimbursed by our insurance company but it was really the point that I was irritated at.

Well…I think I’m about to build that bridge back up. I’ve tried to replace this physician but so far the new guys have yet to fill his shoes. That will teach me to burn a bridge. Jeez. I’ve never done that before. Every job I’ve ever had I left on good terms. Every time I changed doctors or pediatricians when my kids were younger I did so quietly. Actually I’m not even one to doctor hop. I stayed with many doctors who treated Thomas for years. Leaving them only because we had no other choice like when he went to residential school. Or turned into total biatches for no reason. When our best pediatrician retired I was really unhappy. I was thrilled for her but sad for us. She and I used to talk forever when I brought one of my kids in. It was nice.

It’s hard to ask for recommendations for physicians from other people. We all have different needs when it comes to doctors. I need someone warm and fuzzy with a personality and who will talk to me. I’m probably high maintenance as a patient. I have friends who aren’t interested in anything but being treated appropriately by a physician, no chatting, no nothing. Just go in and then get out. For my kids I need someone with a warm personality. I’m down to just Samantha and those days are numbered for her to be seeing a pediatrician anyway. But she’s not 18 yet. The practice I take her to is very big (something I usually avoid like the plague) but they have a couple of awesome nurse practitioners who are very thorough. I don’t think they remember us from Adam when we go but meh it’s fine. Sam’s not so high maintenance physically that I care so much. It’s other specialists she needs to see that must meet my criteria.

So wish me luck eating crow, as I brick by brick rebuild a bridge. I’m sure it won’t be as bad as I’m making it out to be, but I keep putting off that phone call and hoping the new guy will magically become the previous bridge-burned guy.