Marriage and relating to others

Next year Tommy and I will be married 25 years. We are together longer than half our lives. I love my husband. He’s a good looking guy, wise, and smart and caring and he loves me; all rolled up together in this amazing human being. We started dating when we were 17 years old, friends for 2 years before that. We had plenty of drama in our dating years and even a break up here and there but we always managed to end up together when all was said and done. When Tommy proposed when we were 23 years old I was truly surprised. I was in nursing school and getting engaged wasn’t on my radar. I asked Tommy why he proposed to me at that time and he said it was because I never gave him an ultimatum. I never told him I wanted a ring/get engaged, that we had been together for X amount of years and it was time… I didn’t do that to him.

Today we had an opportunity to attend a marriage conference held at our church. The couple running the conference were guest preachers at services this morning. It was a preacher from the South and his wife of 27 years. When they mentioned how long they’ve been married I was like,”ok, I can relate to that.” Then they started taking about different times in their marriage that were stressful. Like they were both working too hard for their ministry, their children weren’t well behaved, they were both working too much and their marriage wasn’t where they wanted it to be, etc…  I started to tune out. In my life both past and present  there was no way I could relate to them.

When our kids were younger I was proud that they were well behaved when we were out in public. Even Thomas who was hell on wheels at home would keep it together at a party or get together. Was it easy?  Hell no. Worth it? Totally. Tommy and I both worked extremely hard to keep our family afloat. He worked tremendously long hours outside the home and I worked so hard to keep up with everything inside the home, including trying to get help for Thomas who was out of control and undiagnosed. I remember finding a specialist in Manhattan uptown on the West side. I had decided to drive in rather than navigate public transportation. Thank you Thomas; you got your mama to learn to drive in Manhattan.

I’m not sure what my point is. We are certainly no experts when it comes to marriage, But I know what it’s like to humble myself. I know what it’s like to call out to my Savior for help and salvation and surrender my life to Him.  The Heavenly Father is my guide in this life. God is so good.

I’m not opposed to marriage work shops, it would need to be run by a couple we could relate to. Actually if it were another couple with more challenges in their married life than the couple I was exposed to yesterday would be ideal. Such is my opinion.



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