I should probably be grammatically correct and title this “My Children” but I see them as older than children so I call them “kids.” I have 4 children as many of you know. One boy and three girls. Thomas is our oldest at 23 years then Alyssa 21 years, Lelly 18 years and Samantha bringing up the rear at 13 years. The first 3 were relatively close in age. Two years between Thomas and Alyssa. That spacing was difficult. We had no idea what we were facing in the future with Thomas and by the time I had Alyssa he was in full hitting and throwing mode. So I spent a lot of Alyssa’s babyhood protecting her from Thomas. Then we decided to have Lelly.
I was 8+ months pregnant with Lelly when we moved back here from NJ. Fun times I tell you. I’m not sorry we did things the way we did, it all worked out, thanks be to God. Thomas was turning 5 at that time. Still hitting, throwing anything he could and having intense long tantrums. We all survived. I remember those years as being extremely hard, like life was just hard. Trying to figure out Thomas, getting the run around from the many doctors and specialists we saw, the disbelief from the pediatrician…it was all too much. I never thought of myself at a mother that children would want to be around.
This past week Alyssa and Lelly were reminiscing about their early school years. Alyssa talked about how she cried on her first days of school because she didn’t want to be somewhere without me. I was so touched I never knew that. I never saw myself as the mom my kids would miss when they were away from me. Lelly also shared how she would go to the school nurse and say she didn’t feel well so I would come pick her up from school. Because she wanted to be with me. Alyssa recently traveled to San Francisco with her boyfriend, Sam. She said “I’m still like that mom! When Sam and I landed right away I felt like I missed you.” I tell you I am floored and honored that my girls feel that way about me. It’s like I was given a gift from them. A gift that has no measure.
I always thought I was the ultra stressed out mom because of what we went through with Thomas. I seriously never knew I was the mom I had wanted to be but thought it was impossible for me to be. The mom who’s kids wanted to be around, the mom who’s daughter cried over being separated, the mom who’s child lied to the nurse so she could go home and be with her. I love my gift.