My Thomas

Just about every Sunday we have our son Thomas over for dinner. Sometimes when I pick him up around mid afternoon we’ll go shopping or if he needs it get him a haircut. This past Sunday he needed a haircut so that’s what we did. The young man who cut his hair was probably not much older than Thomas. He was very polite, patient and just all around good. I was impressed. Some days it’s not easy to give Thomas a haircut and we only get him buzzed, Thomas doesn’t want anything on top like a flip on top. Marc, the name of the barber not only buzzed him, he also shaved Thomas. And then he gave us his card so we could make an appointment next time if we wanted. The shop is on Morningstar Road across from the McDonalds if anyone local is interested.

It’s no secret that Thomas lives in a group home with 7 other male residents about 10 minutes from our house. There are times I wish he still lived at home, like now. Thomas has been going through a med reduction. The nurse Peggy at the group home was convinced that he was on too much medication and a few months ago the psychiatrist started reducing and changing the times of Thomas’ medications. I was quite wary at first, he was on those meds for a reason. But Peggy persisted and gave solid rationales and I said ok. Well my son is doing great! He’s so pleasant to be around and his vocabulary has increased. Thomas is using words in the proper context that he never used before. An example is him asking me if I “enjoyed my dinner.” Thomas never used the word “enjoy” before in his life. Little things like that make you so happy. And him being so pleasant to be around…well you wish things were different. Like that he was living with us. There’s no way we would give up his group home placement; I just wish things could have been so much more typical when it comes to him.

But all things happen for a reason and only God knows the why’s and why not’s to His grand plan of events. I’ll wonder if I’ll ask my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ questions about Thomas when the day comes that we are face to face. Or will I suddenly gain appreciation and understanding of this life and see how all the pieces fit? Will I even care to ask since being in the presence of the Great I Am will surely be ever so sweet and rewarding and beautiful.

I don’t think I would change anything about Thomas even if I could. I used say I would change him not for me but for him. That Thomas’ life would be easier. But who’s to say that it would be? Who’s to say what Thomas would have been like if he were a typical person. Perhaps Thomas is just the way he’s always supposed to have been.

Thomas is made in God’s image the same as any of us. And God made Thomas; Thomas the same way he made Lelly and Alyssa and Samantha and all of us they way we are. Thomas has many gifts that I know were given to him by the Father so that his life wouldn’t be so hard. Thomas is very resilient, doesn’t mind blood draws and doctors visits and understands when you are being sarcastic. He’s well liked, sweet and all around a nice person. I remember when Thomas was around 10, a social worker at his school told me that Thomas was very well liked by his peers there. That “Thomas is a nice kid; you can just tell and the other kids see that and want to be around him.” I was so happy to hear that. You know your kid and to hear an unsolicited compliment especially when things aren’t ideal totally means the world to you.

Seeing Thomas respond so well to the med reduction makes me feel like we came out the other side. Tommy and I see the difference in him and it’s a wonderful feeling to enjoy being with him. One day at a time.

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