Sometimes They’re Complicated

I always thought Thomas was our most complicated child. We didn’t get a solid diagnosis for him until he was around 6 years old when he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. He had things he was treated for such as speech impaired/delayed, muscle hypotonia ( received PT and OT as well as speech therapy) and behavior issues (he would hit me).

It wasn’t until Thomas was 12 years old did an amazing neurologist examine Thomas and all his MRI’s, educational, and developmental reports and come to the conclusion/diagnosis that our son was brain damaged. Static encephalopathy was the official words he used. It means brain damage that won’t get worse and won’t get better. It was a difficult reality to accept after all the years of basically not knowing anything official. Professionals would ask me why I wanted a diagnosis so bad? That they were treating what was wrong…. At the time I wanted to scream in frustration. A diagnosis puts a name to what is wrong, something to research, something you could “touch”. It’s hard to explain.

It’s now years later and we made the best and most difficult decisions I thought we would have to make as parents. We went through a terrible season and came through with God’s help. Now it’s a different child with challenging issues. This child is not special needs like Thomas. This child is a typical young woman for the most part. However she needs us as parents in a different way than the others, needs us to make difficult decisions and choices and be her advocate. I always thought after Thomas the rest of my kids would be smooth sailing. I was so wrong. Being a mom you’re never “done.” Stuff just keeps on coming.

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