Author: MenayO

Residential school (again)

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As I was spiraling from depression, Thomas’ packet had been sent out to state approved residential schools, about 12-13 schools.  Weeks go by and we had heard nothing from any of the schools Tommy and I were like, WTH?  I called the contact person at the Board of Education multiple times and I did not receive a call back. Unbelievable IMO. Finally after speaking with a community board member who called on my behalf did I receive a return phone call. The woman said we had to wait for the schools to contact us. Fine.

I got tired of waiting and went down the list making phone calls to the admissions department of every school his packet was sent to. Sometimes I spoke to a live person and they would tell me why Thomas wasn’t appropriate for their school or the school didn’t have a peer group for him, meaning the population didn’t include 16 year old boys at the same cognitive level as him.

While I appreciated the honesty of the schools I did speak to, I was starting to get worried, so was Tommy. We really needed a school for him and soon. One morning I came home from my walk after bringing Daniella and Samantha to school. The phone rang and I contemplated not picking it up. I was hot and sweaty from my walk, my mood sucked, etc… For whatever reason (God’s hand) I did pick up the phone and it was the admissions person from the Sail school. She told me Thomas wouldn’t be appropriate for that school because his IQ was too high for their population. I almost laughed and said, “What kind of population do you serve, my son’s IQ is in the high 40’s”. Turns out she was reading an old IQ report from when Thomas was younger. She said she was going to review his packet again and call me back.

A couple of hours later she did call me back and she also spoke to Thomas’ current school who confirmed the last IQ test was as I said. Admissions Woman asked if Tommy and I would like to tour the school. Of course we said yes.

We went without Thomas. Turns out the Sail school was literally a five minute drive from Andrus, the residential school Thomas attended when he was 8 yrs old until he was 11 yrs old. During the ride up there Tommy and I discussed that this was the only school we heard from that was interested in our son. We didn’t want to make our decision based on that fact. We had to make our decision as unbiased as possible and also face the possibility that this school may not be “the one” and we would be back at square one.

We met with Admissions Woman who was wonderful and so very knowledgable. The building is older and not the most modern but we both didn’t care. She gave us a tour of the bedrooms, while we were there the cleaning people were busy changing sheets and blankets, some delivering clean laundry and others gathering dirty laundry. There were also people mopping the floors it was impressive IMO. We then toured the school where medically fragile students attended as well as special needs students who required a small student to teacher ratio and more attention.

To be honest after seeing that school I was a little freaked out as those students were lower functioning than Thomas. I was afraid of Thomas being placed where he did not belong. Maybe this wasn’t the place for Thomas. We were then given a tour of the other school which is off the residential campus. It’s down the road about a 5 minute drive and the students are bused from the residence building. We saw the first classroom, met the teacher and her students and the para professional and immediately felt at home. The environment and atmosphere was so similar to the school Thomas was currently attending. I couldn’t believe it! We met the teacher and students of the other two classrooms and the feeling of familiarity was the same. I was so relieved!

Admissions Woman stepped away to give Tommy and I a chance to talk things over. We both agreed right there and then that we loved the school and wanted Thomas to attend. We told Admissions Woman this. She informs us then that there was another boy being considered for the one space they had available.

Spiraling, spiraling

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After my weekend  “in bed”  I knew Monday morning I had to get up to get everyone ready for school.   Thomas was the toughest as he would be aggressive with me upon waking up.  The girls would stay in their rooms until he calmed down a bit.   My alarm would go off and I’d lay there in bed a few minutes petting my cat named Cash, psyching myself up for the task of waking up Thomas.  Cash is one beautiful cat.  Long, white and tan hair with the bluest eyes.  I swear The Lord sent her to me.  We found her as a stray.  

Anyway…mornings sucked. I’d somehow manage to get Thomas up, he dressed himself then give him his meds, breakfast, then wait for the bus. It was not easy or pleasant. Sometimes he calmed down when the bus came sometimes not. The school was aware of what was going on but they couldn’t help me other than assure me about the residential placement we were waiting on.

Living with me at this time was terrible. I was irritable, moody, I had no patience and would snap at anybody. Tommy and I argued quite a bit and I know I was the cause of most of them. I was miserable, I had no joy in my life and felt like a worthless human being with no purpose in life.

Tommy told me I had to find a therapist. I agreed even though I was terrified. We found a list online of psychologists and social workers/therapists that take our insurance and I started calling. I left message after message and NO ONE called me back. Oh wait, one did call me back…a week later. I was so pissed off I told her since she took a week to call me back I wasn’t interested anymore. Not to brag but my husband has excellent health benefits, I felt like I was waving around good insurance for therapy and no one wanted it. It was bizarre.

This went on for weeks. In the middle of it all our church was putting on it’s Easter production, the story of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I’m in the choir and my two older girls were dancers. Any chance I had I went to church, it was my lifeline and escape. I felt safe in church. Performing in the Easter Production was a perfect distraction and gave me a purpose. I found the songs we sang to be so comforting, as well as singing for The Lord.

Singing with the choir wasn’t always so peaceful for me. There were many times I felt like a fraud singing up there. Fearing at any moment someone would point and yell from the congregation, “Fake! Loser! Fraud!” Because I thought so little of myself I figured I was transparent. There was also a time or two when I had to leave church when the choir was singing because Thomas was having a meltdown and Tommy wanted me home.

Finally, finally I started seeing Nancy who I’ve mentioned before. I know The Lord placed her in my life. She is wonderful and just what I need in a therapist. I even enjoy the traveling to her office in Manhattan. When I started seeing Nancy I was a mess and I cried through every one of our early sessions. After a month or so I decided to see the psychiatrist, Dr. L who was treating Thomas. He was fine with seeing both of us. I was scared to death of medication and I made sure Dr. L knew that. He started me off with an anti anxiety medication at a very low dose, after a couple of months I agreed to an antidepressant as well. I had to trust him, I desperately wanted to feel better. I also know Dr. L was placed in my life by The Lord. Things don’t work out in such a “coincidental” way, no they don’t. They are planned by God. The way I look at it, I’m trusting God who put Dr. L in my life so I must trust Dr. L as he was placed in my life by God.

I have to say for me to get to that point of trust was huge. I was so used to trying to control everything with my son. When I finally let go of that control and realized God has his own plan it was a relief

Depression and the spiraling…

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As I mentioned in previous posts living with an aggressive, teenage special needs son was taking it’s toll on me. I remember Thomas being aggressive to me in October 2012 and I felt a distinct “shift” of my mind.  I also had a flashback to when Thomas 4 yrs old and how he used to hit me then too.  It’s so hard to describe that “shift” but it was real.  I felt as if I was “off” but couldn’t put my finger on how I was “off” or describe it to anyone.  By November I remember my husband giving me a hug and me saying, “Nothing feels…right

By December Thomas was hospitalized again. I still had to do Christmas shopping and prepare for the upcoming holiday. I would have panic episodes in the mall while trying to think of gifts for family and friends. It all seemed impossible. The same Christmas shopping I had done by myself for the last 16 years felt like the most enormous, overwhelming task. I would call my husband on his cell to calm me down. He was wonderful and always knew what to say.

We also had to face the possibility that Thomas could be spending Christmas in the hospital, which meant we as his family would be spending it in the hospital with him. The beginning of December was also the time when our church performs a Live Nativity. I’m in the choir. I managed to perform with the choir, honestly I enjoyed it as singing about and celebrating our Lord’s birth was calming and I loved being around my choir friends to take my mind off my life.

For whatever reason our insurance company decided Thomas should be discharged it was at or around December 22. Tommy felt it was the work of God. That divine intervention had him discharged so he could spend Christmas with us and us with him, in our home. The social worker was definite that Thomas was spending the holiday in the hospital, so this news was a shock and surprise. I don’t like to admit this but I didn’t know how to feel. Like I said I was already “off”. To everyone I put on a happy face. But inside I felt nothing. At this time I hadz no idea what was going on with me. Christmas came and went I do remember it was nice, we spent Christmas Eve with Tommy’s family as usual and Christmas Day was spent with my family as usual.

By January I started feeling “less than”. Like I had wasted my life being a stay at home mom. I should have had a career, not spent my life staying home, I called myself every negative name in the book. It was horrible. One weekend I couldn’t contain it anymore and broke down. I went to bed. I never“go to bed” unless I’m physically ill, like the flu or something. But that one weekend I went to bed! And I cried and cried and thought the most negative things about myself. I felt like the most worthless, insignificant, unimportant person in this world. I have tears welling up remembering this. This is depression. This is what it does, it’s darkness that takes over and makes the light almost impossible to come through. I couldn’t stop crying and ranting, “THIS is what happens when you waste your life, THIS!!” I was referring to myself and how terrible I felt about myself. Tommy was so worried and had no idea what to do with me. I didn’t know what to do with me.

Revolving Door…

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As mentioned in my last post, Thomas was in and out of the hospital.   Admission, med change, discharge.  Rinse and repeat over and over.   We were lost Tommy and I, until the hospital psychiatrist and social worker recommended residential school. We weren’t surprised but it was still a shock. We knew it was our only option. Things could not continue this way, Thomas in and out of the hospital; then when he was home I was the target for his aggression.

There came another instance where I had to call an ambulance. That time they sent at least 4 police cars and then the EMT’S. This all took place one evening in my quiet neighborhood. I couldn’t stop crying and once again God stepped in. He is amazing. I needed someone to watch Samantha our youngest. My neighbor’s 18 yr old daughter was sitting on her front steps. I walked across the street and handed Samantha over to Meg and said, “Your Mom has my number tell her to call me.” Meg didn’t bat an eye, she nodded and walked to her house with my daughter. Alyssa was out with friends and Daniella was with another neighbor’s daughter and baby sitter. I saw the Dad and panicked saying, “Sean, Daniella is with your daughter and Marcy!” Sean replied, “I already called Marcy and told her to drive around a bit, to stay away right now.” I could not believe how wonderful my neighbors are. I truly believe The Lord intentionally placed us in this house in this neighborhood.

The result of that ambulance fiasco was the same as the first. I brought him home. Tommy picked us up as I had rode in the ambulance with Thomas. We drove home in silence. There was nothing to say.

Again, Thomas was hospitalized, 2 hours away. No other medication had the wonderful effect of stabilization as the one we had to discontinue. In the meantime I was writing letters and gathering documents and recommendations that Thomas attend residential school. I almost forgot, there were a couple of meetings thrown in there too.

We were prepared to hire a lawyer like the last time, but held off in the hope it wouldn’t be necessary. In the midst of this all I was fighting depression and struggling to find a therapist. I know in one of my former posts I mentioned Nancy and how she was in our lives. https://nayaudo.wordpress.com/2013/07/07/recent-thrift-finds-and-other-parts-of-my-life/

Again God placed someone exactely where I needed them. He knew I would need Nancy 9 years ago when I met her looking for help for Thomas. He knew years later I would need her for help for me.

After the meetings were attended and appropriate letters and letters of recommendation were mailed certified mail, Thomas was approved for residential school. It wasn’t necessary for us to hire a lawyer, thank God! What happens next is a central office sends out Thomas’ packet which is all his history and school information, IQ testing, IEP, etc…

I was told Thomas’ packet was sent to 12 schools.
 

Hospitals and People Placed In Our Lives

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After Thomas was discharged and we left the local hospital, I spoke to Dr. F.  He wanted to hospitalize Thomas at the hospital we used many years ago when Thomas was 7-8 yrs old, before Andrus.  Dr. F felt there was no safe way to taper off this med and begin a trial of a replacement while at home.  Tommy and I agreed but we were not happy about it.  Thomas’ behavior had leveled off, he was still taking the medication that needed to be stopped and we feared he would view being hospitalized as a punishment. I did not hold my son’s actions towards me as a grudge nor was I angry with him. Was it horrible? Yes. But he is my son and he has brain issues that cause him to act out if he is not medicated properly. We explained why he had to be admitted and thankfully he understood.

I took Thomas to Westchester, 2 hours away to be admitted to the psych hospital. I told the admitting psychiatrist why we were there, to stop the medication affecting the white blood cells and hopefully replace it with something else. I asked him to please call Dr. F and discuss this with him. The hospital Dr. did at some point in time do so and he agreed to the med change.

Thomas was in the hospital for about 6 weeks. They did not take him off the medication we wanted because Thomas’ behavior would worsen with each tapering down of the dose, and his white blood cells were in the normal range so their decision was to keep him on that med. As happy as we were to have him home, it was a waste of time to have had him hospitalized. I warned the hospital Dr that we’ve been through this and I knew Thomas’ white blood cells were going to drop again. And they did.

Dr. F decided to take Thomas off the med at home (again) and hope for the best and we could always hospitalize him again. I don’t remember much about that time except I know it didn’t go well and Thomas was hospitalized again and again. It became a revolving door situation. I was the target of his aggression, not once did he hit the girls. In some strange way when I told the professionsals that “I” was Thomas’ target and not the girls, it seemed “ok”. I won’t go into fine details but his aggression sent me spiraling into depression and it was the cause of great trauma to me.

However The Lord again shows himself when I was in need. During one admission the hospital was having a meeting about Thomas and a parent had to attend. Tommy was working so I’m the one. Tommy didn’t want me to drive alone but I didn’t have anyone to go with me. I was about to call the church and ask but decided to go shopping at Macy’s instead. In the middle of Macy’s I run into Cheryl, one of the Pastor’s wife. We had met before and chatted since they have a special needs son now an adult. I tell Cheryl about the meeting and I need someone to come with me. Cheryl quickly says, “When is the meeting?” I tell her, “Thursday”. Cheryl says, “Thursday is fine I’ll come with you”. I almost fell over right there in Macy’s. That was no coincidence, nope. She gave up her whole day and drove 2’hours there and back with me not once but twice. Yes people are placed in our lives for a reason.

My Church Family

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I can’t write about the ambulance incident without mentioning my church family.  I emailed, Louise a dear friend who was running the Bible study I was involved in.  In the email I told her what had happened.  She  was wonderful and very supportive.  Louise then asked if Tommy and I would come to the Wednesday evening prayer time so the Pastor and anyone who comes could pray over us.  We found a friend to sit with the kids and Tommy and I went.  

When we arrived at the church we sat in a pew and I just cried and cried while praying.  I was giving thanks to The Lord.  After that whole fiasco I gave thanks.  For without Him I am nothing and I have nothing.  I was thankful for my husband that he is who he is.  I was thankful for all my children and I was thankful for the church.  At some time it occurred to me that God may not give us what we want but does give us what we need. I needed an ambulance and emergency workers so I was sent the most compassionate professional police and EMT’S that were working that day. I needed the courage to dial 911 for my out of control son, He gave me that courage.

After we all prayed separately we approached the alter and Pastor Paul gave the most heartfelt, incredibly touching prayer for us. His words were perfect and spot on. It turns out Louise didn’t tell Pastor Paul what happened, she forwarded my email to another Pastor at our church. Pastor Paul had no idea about the aggression and ambulance until prayer was over and Tommy told him. The Holy Spirit worked through him and gave him the words we needed.

To me our church family is nothing short of God’s work. To arrange the people who were virtual strangers before to be involved in our life is something only He can do with such perfection and grace.

Adjusting meds and more

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We were optimistic we could do this med adjustment at home.  I was confidant due to the three years of stability and no aggression that this could be done.  I couldn’t have been more wrong.  Thomas tolerated the initial tapering down of the dose. We were confidant this was going to work. Then he hit me. On my back an open hand slap that hurt physically and emotionally.

Not long after that incident, one morning Thomas became very aggressive towards me before an orthodontist appointment.  The plan was to drop Daniella and Samantha each their different schools and then head to the orthodontist. Thomas became very unstable in the car and I didn’t know what to do. Go home or go straight to the local hospital? For whatever reason I chose to go home. He continued being aggressive when we arrived home and entered the house. He would settle down and then get aggressive all over again. This cycle went on and on, I even cried out to Jesus. I was afraid. I called my parents who live 45 minutes away to please come. I called Thomas’ psychiatrist. Finally I called an ambulance.

Before the EMT’s arrived I had police officers at my door and almost the whole neighborhood watching. It was around 10 am. I remember my parents arriving just before the police. By that time Thomas knew I called an ambulance and was crying and upset saying he was sorry. The EMT’S arrived and they took down his meds and a short history. I have to say in the middle of a horrid situation we were blessed with awesome policemen and EMT’S. I know they were sent here by The Lord. They were so kind and professional. No one looked at me like I was lying nor did they treat my son like a criminal.

I agreed to have Thomas transported to the psych department of the local hospital. An EMT sat in the back of the ambulance with Thomas and I. he was very nice and made appropriate small talk. The only thing I remember about that conversation is him remarking I looked “young” when he asked how old my son was and the ages of my other children. We arrived at the psych ER and it was a total waste of time. The staff was very efficient and the psychiatrists were very nice and understood the tapering off of the med and why we were doing it. Unfortunately there was nothing they could do for us as they didn’t have an adolescent unit and not enough staff to keep an eye on him one to one in a ward full of grown men. The thought of leaving him there in that situation made me sick to my stomach. He is still my son. I was then offered transport to some hospital in Queens that I hadn’t heard of. No thank you. I took him home.

Meds

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So life was really nice when Thomas was home.  As I mentioned in the previous post life wasn’t “easy”. Thomas is high maintenance, he requires a lot of attention. We were so very fortunate to be offered residential habilitation from the agency handling Thomas’ Medicaid and On Your Mark, a special needs organization that provides programs and activities called to say they had an opening! Thomas has been on the waiting list for years literally. It was an exciting time because so much was coming together.

I adored the Hungerford school and I loved his teacher, Connie. She even gave me her cell number in case I had concerns outside school hours. Incredible I tell you. The activity program at On Your Mark was wonderful. The staff there was unreal in that they were so, so, so good with the kids. I seriously could talk for hours about how wonderful the staff is at Hungerford and On Your Mark. Thomas went to an On Your Mark location every Saturday from 9:30 to 1:30. We were thankful as weekends are without much structure and Thomas thrives on structure so this was perfect. They did art, yoga, sports, cooking, etc… Wonderful and he really enjoyed it. It was a win/win situation.

The residential habilitation (res. hab) person started. Her name was Dee and she quickly became one of the family. I remember in the beginning Thomas was allowed 3 hours twice a week with Dee and she would come to the house. So we worked out a schedule and goals which included Thomas playing and working things out with his sisters. Dee really was wonderful. We trusted her and she us. All the girls loved her as well and she would include them in any activity or craft she worked on with Thomas. This went on for about three years. No aggression from Thomas. Activities in place and a wonderful res. hab. person. Seriously, what more could we ask for?

A couple of Thomas’ meds required regular blood draws to ensure the blood level was fine and/or to check that his white blood cells were at a normal level and not dropping. Twice when Thomas was at Andrus he had an issue with his white blood cells falling at a lower level but after a repeat blood draw they would be fine.

Now that Thomas was home, Dr. F took him on as a patient again. I was thrilled as I adored and trusted him. One evening after I had taken Thomas to have a blood draw, Dr. F calls to tell me Thomas’ white blood cells were low. Unfortunately this is a side effect of one of the medications he was taking at the time. I naturally panicked and Dr. F calmed me down saying we will contact the pediatrician and repeat the blood work. Thankfully Thomas is wonderful with blood draws. The test was repeated and came back normal, whew!

The feeling of relief did not last long as future blood draws showed Thomas’ white blood cells dropping to a level that was close to being unsuitable for the registry of this medication. Dr. F suggested we see a hematologist. I asked the pediatrician for a referral and an appointment was made. Dr. G was great. She confirmed that all of Thomas’ meds had the potential to lower white blood cells but the one in particular was well known for the side effect. She would monitor him to ensure the cells not get too low.

We saw the hematologist for the next 2 years, faithfully with Thomas having blood draws every 2 weeks sometimes every week at a satellite site connected to the main hospital where the hematologist practiced. I praise The Lord for giving Thomas the gift of tolerating blood draws in such an awesome way. He doesn’t flinch or give anyone a hard time.

Finally it got to the point where the white blood cells were remaining low according to the parameters set by the over-see-ers of this particular medication. Thomas remained in good health but Dr. F feared we would not be able to have his prescription filled. I had to present the blood work to the pharmacist each month for a refill. Dr. F suggested we take Thomas off the medication. I was hopeful as his behavior had been so good that perhaps we could do this and everything would turn out fine.

One could hope right?

Thomas is home

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Thomas was 11 yrs old when he came home to live from Andrus.  Due to all the home visits the transition was very smooth.   We learned a lot of the language from Andrus, eg:  if Thomas was having a difficult time we encouraged him to, “turn it around”, to present a time out as not a punishment but a positive action to remove oneself from a stressful situation.  It was not one method of therapy that gave Thomas success in controlling his behavior.  I know it was a combination of the therapies, the meds and the environment.  All those tools fit together when the amounts were found to be “right”.  

It was really nice having Thomas living at home, don’t get me wrong nothing is sunshine and roses always, but we felt complete. And due to the work at Andrus we were able to take family vacations and not fear a complete breakdown from him.

Thomas was still Thomas though, even though the aggression was gone he still perseverated over things (a total focus on one thing and talk about it over and over). This is just one of his many traits that make Thomas who he is. As a family you adjust and most times you don’t realize consciously you’re adjusting. It’s just the way things are in your family even though you know it’s not the norm of other families. But…those other families have their quirks too!

For 2 years Thomas attended Andrus as a day student while living at home. The bus picked him up around 7 am and he returned home usually around 4-4:30 pm. He never complained once about a long bus ride. Not once. There’s the resiliency again, he is gifted. During the spring of Thomas’ second year living home. I received a phone call from the principal of the day school that they felt they weren’t meeting Thomas’ academic needs due to his low IQ. I couldn’t argue, they were right. Truth is I didn’t even know where to transfer Thomas to. A typical junior high was out of the question according to my gut feeling and talks with a couple of people “in the know”. Then one afternoon The Lord steps in. Amazing.

Tommy was chatting with the loveliest neighbor we had. An elderly man who was almost the mayor of our block. Tommy was telling this man we needed to find a school for Thomas but didn’t know where. Our neighbor says, “Have you tried the Hungerfor School? My son in law teaches there and I think Thomas would fit in there, have Menay check it out”. Tommy literally runs home and asks me, “Why haven’t you checked out the Hungerford School?!” He tells me his conversation with the neighbor and I’m dumbstruck. Could such a place exist? God is good and his timing is impeccable!

The next morning I begin my phone calls. I ask to speak to the principal but she is one busy lady. When I do get to speak to her I explain the situation of residential school and now Thomas is a day student living at home, we need a new school, etc… I keep calling and request to see the school and when I go on a tour I’m amazed and almost speechless! This place has literally everything I’ve imagined for my son. Vocational training! Life skills! Oh my goodness. I request a meeting with the district and they change Thomas’ school to Hungerford.

I often think about how “coincidental” my husband’s conversation with our neighbor was, but it was no coincidence, no way, no how. When you stop “looking” for the work of The Lord you realize it’s all around you, that things don’t fall into place without his hands all over them.

Samantha

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I think I mentioned Thomas spent 3 years at Andrus.  At the end of each school year the school professionals and Tommy and I would have a meeting to discuss their recommendation and did we agree with them or not. I’ll admit the first year I was terrified they would send him home. Thomas wasn’t ready. Thankfully they recommended another year. By the end of the second school year I really wasn’t sure if it was time for him to come home. But they, the professionals recommended another year and Tommy and I agreed and the decision felt right.

So in the middle of all this I became pregnant (again). This time the pregnancy stuck, lol!! Her name is Samantha. Aside from the constant worry I had a lovely pregnancy. The miscarriages had taken away my innocence that everything would be alright. Part of me wouldn’t relax until she was in my arms. I adored my doctor, he performed the D&C’s so he knew my history. I used midwives with my other children and even the 2 I lost but by this time they had stopped practicing. It was ok though as I firmly believe I was supposed to use Dr. T.

Dr. T was so caring and treated me like a daughter. He let me chose how often I wanted to come in and he always checked the heartbeat for me even when it was very early, he would do a sonogram instead of the Doppler. I couldn’t believe the level of care I received, more than the technical care but the emotional care I received from Dr. T. No question was unanswered or silly and he never looked at me like, “Really…haven’t you done this before?”

Samantha was born naturally in the hospital at 11:37 pm
on a Tuesday just over 7 years ago.

Tommy picked up Thomas as he was able to be there to meet her when she was brand new :). That meant a lot to me. He adored her and to my surprise compared her newborn-ness to Daniella. Thomas almost 5 years old when Daniella was born. He surprised me that he would remember certain details like the umbilical cord still attached and the ink on the foot for the footprint. Thomas always surprises me and I really admire him that he has that ability.

I don’t remember how long Thomas’ visit was, but it was long enough that I was able to get pictures taken of him, Alyssa and Samantha. Daniella was completely uncooperative so she was not in the photo shoot at the mall. A fact we like to tease her about to this day.

Samantha was born during Thomas’ third year at Andrus. I know that made my life a bit easier in caring for a newborn. By June of the following year with Samantha approaching her first birthday it was decided that Thomas should come home to live. The school professionals and Tommy and I were all in agreement. The therapy and meds together had worked to cease the aggression and fits/tantrums. We finally were able to enjoy him and our whole family without worrying he would “snap” and be rough or hit someone. It was agreed however that Thomas still attend Andrus as a day student while he lived at home. The Board of Ed provided busing to and from Yonkers while this plan was in place. It turns out there was one other student from our area so neither rode the bus alone. And believe it or not the bus driver was the mother of a special needs adult child. God is good I tell you.