She’s an Adult.

I’m so proud of my daughter Alyssa. She started college today. Her first day. Tommy drove her in to Manhattan with him this morning. She said it went really well except for being unable to find her first class and arriving there late. She even made a friend. Everything you want for your child. I’m proud of her for going to college by herself in Manhattan. She’s very familiar with the city having gone many times with friends either shopping or going out to eat. But this is different, even though she’s still living at home she’s grown wings and is flying solo. She’s an adult.

Alyssa even went on an interview today to pass out a magazine during the upcoming fashion week. It’s a paid position and she has the opportunity to meet many different people including celebrities. I’m excited for her.

My heart swells for her. I love all my girls but Alyssa is my first girl. My first child after Thomas who was able to show me what a typical kid could do. And do it fabulously. I think of the days we lived in Jersey. Thomas would be going off on a tantrum and put in his room to calm down. I used to sit with Alyssa in front of Thomas’ door (guarding the door until he calmed down). Alyssa and I would sing the alphabet or her favorite Sesame Street song. She was 2 and fabulous even then.

I can’t wait to see what this semester brings for my YaYa. My girl. To watch her grow and blossom even more as an adult. I’m so proud of her.

20 Years.

My son turns 20 in a couple of days. That freaks me out a bit. It means that 20 years ago he made me a mom for the very first time. An important milestone.  He was the very first baby I ever took care of without waiting for their own mom to come home; *I* was the mom. No instruction manual…no giving him back. He was mine, all mine. I remember freaking out when Thomas was about a week old or so. Tommy and I were on our way to take Thomas to see Tommy’s grandmother. I was crying and crying that maybe we had Thomas too soon, maybe we made a mistake. Tommy calmly said that it was too late for that don’t you think? Thomas was here. I think I felt very alone when I said that. Tommy made me feel that he was with me that we were in this together and I calmed down.

20 years ago we didn’t have cell phones like we had now. I had gotten Tommy a beeper when I was pregnant with Thomas. I was working as a nurse and Tommy was working at a family owned heating and air conditioning company and out on the road constantly. So he wasn’t easy to get a hold of in an emergency. I had one such “emergency” when I was about 7ish months pregnant. I had pains like right at the top of my uterus/stomach. Since I worked at the hospital I was planning to give birth at the nurse manager sent me right down to Labor and Delivery unit. It was determined that I had “uterine irritability” and they gave me a some IV fluids and sent me home. Tommy was out with friends and I was beeping him “911” with the hospital’s phone number. He came right away.  By the time they sent me home it was 3 am (I worked the over night shift). We went to the bagel store, got some freshly made bagels, went home, made bacon and then went to bed. Funny how you remember somethings to the exact detail.

I gave birth in the hospital and Thomas was perfect, I remember he had these perfect pursed lips and I couldn’t help but kiss them. I had the typical newborn pictures taken while in the hospital. I remember within just a couple of days he didn’t look anything like those pictures. My mother was a huge help. Tommy stayed home a week with me and then went back to work. My mother would come over and help me with breastfeeding (she is a certified Lactation Consultant), fold my laundry, go for walks with me and Thomas in the carriage. I don’t know what I would have done without her. None of my friends had kids/babies. I was one of the youngest nurses on my unit so all my friends at work had older kids, I wasn’t friendly with anyone who had a baby. I was home from work for 4 months. I don’t know what I would have done without my mother and her constant reassuring presence. My dad told me I no longer had an identity I was now “Thomas’ mom” and he was right. To this day when I call Thomas’ school I say this is “Thomas’ mom” and they all know who I am.

20 years. It did go fast.