I’m up before everyone. I do this fairly often and it’s really nice. I’m up before the craziness of everyone getting ready for school. That includes me getting decent hair and face going on. I take Samantha to school but I’m not one to go in my pajamas. Except for the barking of my dogs (for whatever reason early mornings are cat chasing time. Go figure.) it’s really quiet. Like hear a pin drop quiet. So cool. This used to be the quiet I would get at night when everyone was small. They were all pretty much were in bed by 9pm the latest. These days …nope. Everyone seems to be up forever and want to talk. Meanwhile by 9:30 ish I’m all talked out and I’m ready for the quiet.
I pick up Thomas tomorrow for a weekend visit. He’s so looking forward to coming home. Every phone call these past 2 weeks has included confirmation of the date I’m coming to get him, Feb. 1st and that yes, I promise I’m coming. Oh and that I spoke to the social worker about said date. He’s funny but I don’t blame him I’m sure I’d be the same way in his shoes. I’m impressed with how Thomas speaks to me sometimes. He actually said, “Mom, you *promise* you’re coming?” Who knew that he knows the concept of a “promise”? Not me until he said it.
I’m off to the city today (another reason I’m up earlier). Earlier this week I was reflecting on how things have changed since I started seeing Nancy. When I first went to her I was terribly clinically depressed. I hadn’t started meds yet, actually I was terrified of meds and said I would NOT take them. That adamant position changed rapidly when I realized that no amount of therapy was going to help that this was more serious than I thought, plus I became more afraid of the depression than the medications. When I first started seeing Nancy, I cried through every session and after we were done I’d walk down Broadway on the upper west side for blocks and blocks, many times fighting back tears. One time and I know this was The Lord’s work, my wonderful friend Jackie called me as I was walking. I couldn’t believe her timing. I walked and talked and cried down Broadway on the cell phone with her for about who knows how many blocks. Probably 10. Until I saw a subway station for my train and decided I was tired of walking. Amazing how I thought I was all along when I wasn’t. I had the Lord with me and then He prompted Jackie to call. I love those perfect timings.
Ok, it’s getting later and I must start the chaos we call mornings. I’m extremely thankful the only one I have to “help” a little is Samantha. She really needs prompting and that’s ok. I’m off!