This past week at small group (bible study) we had a talk on peace and how can you have peace at the same time as having a special needs child. I admitted that when Thomas is home I do not have peace. He is very high maintenance and requires constant attention.

Thomas graduated from his school last week; on Thursday. Tommy and I, Alyssa and Lelly and my parents were able to make the trip with us. We hit such horrible traffic I thought for sure we would miss Thomas’ turn. But God is good and we arrived just before they called his name. We are so proud of him and the joy in the pictures is true and heartfelt. We then went for lunch and we took Thomas home with us for the next 2 days.

My husband had to work all day Friday so it was me going solo with my son. I kept him busy for the morning and early afternoon by doing what he wanted to do; go to the thrift store! Of course I wanted to go to so we had a great time with Thomas picking out two sport jackets that fit him like a glove. We then hit TJ maxx for a little bit; by the time I was done there Thomas was ready for lunch.

We came home and that’s when my peace went out the window. Thomas started obsessing about me putting his name in the new to him sport jackets. I did that for him. He then moved on to packing them in his suit case and me doing his laundry. He then follows me around perseverating about his dinner visit to the group home later in the day. I needed the next three hours to pass quickly. Tommy stopped home for a minute then went back to work. Alyssa and Lelly were in and out all afternoon. Thomas doesn’t watch television, will not sit and draw or color, will not play video games, will talk about anything that comes to mind in a continuous fashion and will not entertain himself in the least. My love for this young man of mine is immeasurable but God help me to keep him busy when he’s home.

After Thomas visited the group home for dinner he told me he wanted to go back to  his school the very next morning. I told him the plan was to have him stay until after dinner, but nope Thomas wouldn’t hear of it and insisted he return in the morning.

I wasn’t sad to see him go. I was relieved and at the same time I felt guilty that I don’t have more patience. How did I handle him being home all the time when he lived here? Well for one Thomas had school during the week, a recreation program for Saturday mornings and I could count on Tommy to be home most Sundays. Thomas was also a different person on different meds. He didn’t talk up a storm, and when there wasn’t any school due to vacations or time off Thomas went on various trips run by a local developmental disabilities group. I had a network of support that no longer exists since that life no longer exists.

Thomas is back at his school and I’m sure he was relieved to go back. There are staff members and activities to keep him occupied. I don’t think Thomas knows what to do with himself without his support system that he has at school. He’ll have a different support system and life when he moves into the group home.

I have peace knowing Thomas is taken care of so well and his needs are being met. I have peace.




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