Oh My Soul…

This song https://youtu.be/Tn5aq54yu8A by Christian musicians, Casting Crowns from their latest CD “The Very Next Thing” hit it me hard when my dad was first diagnosed with liver and colon cancer. The lyrics stayed with me all through the next 16 months of daddy’s life until his passing on Feb 4 of this year. Now when I hear that song on the radio or on CD I can’t help but think of him and how much I miss him. But then I sing along to the song and I realize his passing and my grieving is “the valley”. And I find my faith in God helps the pain of missing him. Being that daddy was a believer I know he’s with Jesus and all who have passed before him. I imagine them all gathered together, talking and laughing and being in this incredibly peaceful place. So peaceful we couldn’t understand it here where we are in the other side.

While listening to Oh My Soul this afternoon I remembered how hard daddy’s diagnosis hit us. Like a ton of bricks. He had already beat lung cancer twice. To think he was going to have to fight cancer again was surreal. But he did fight it; hard. And we were graced with his presence not for three and a half months like they first told us, but for longer. I never stopped believing in God or became angry with Him because my father had cancer again. Instead I saw how wonderful God is to us. Daddy had excellent care given to him by my mom who happens to be a nurse. We saw the grace of God when we went to the beach and like magic this beach wheelchair appeared with strong young men to wheel daddy down to the umbrella we rented. When it was known that daddy was dying and my mom initiated hospice care I witnessed the kindest and most angelic of nursing care ever. To the one nurse who made sure my mother had the correct medication to give daddy in his last hours to the other nurse who worked 18 hours and thanked us for letting her be a part of this season in our lives.

“Oh my soul…you are not alone…” Such beautiful words because we are not alone. God is with us always; in the songs he inspires others to write and the people He sends to help us along the way, whether we’re in the valley or standing on the mountain top.

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