The Way It’s Supposed To Be?

We moved our Lelly out to her own apartment in Manhattan this morning. She was the smallest of all my 4 babies weighing in at around 7.5 pounds. We used to say she was small like a bird and my sister nicknamed her Lelly Bird. Actually her real name is Daniella but 5 year old Thomas couldn’t say Daniella; it came out Dallella and somehow morphed into Lelly and that is what stuck. We still call her Lelly although when she’s around her friends I try to call her Daniella. She’s officially a renter with her own signature on a lease. Very grown up for 21 years old; in my opinion anyway. Just as grown up as Alyssa and Sam getting engaged/married and then paying their own way for it all at 22 and 23 years old.

I’m crying today at the drop of a hat over Lelly moving out. This morning Tommy and I helped her move all her stuff into the U-Haul and drove her to the upper east side where her apartment is. I was ok until we drove away from our house. I began holding back tears and swallowing the urge to cry. I was ok the drive uptown. However seeing all her “stuff” in the bedroom of the apartment hit me like a lead balloon and the next thing I know I’m crying, and so is she. After a few hours there wasn’t much more we could do. The rest of unpacking and putting away her belongings was up to her. So Tommy and I decided to leave. That was terrible. We kept hugging and crying. It was so sad. I’m going to miss living with her so much. No one makes me laugh like Lelly, except for Tommy of course.

So after bringing the U-Haul van back, Tommy asked was it ok that our 2 older girls became so independent after graduating college; when they reached their early 20’sand moved out on their own. Whether it be because they were married like Alyssa or like Lelly did; chose to move out while still single. I said I guess this is how it’s supposed to be. But honestly I don’t know, I mean nothing about our raising children was typical starting off with Thomas. I tried my best with the girls all while killing myself to get Thomas help. I wasn’t ready to have the girls move out so fast. I was enjoying them so much as adults. The talking, the laughing, just being together. It’s nice. No pressure, no worrying about doing things “right”.

This doesn’t seem fair.

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