A Different Normal

Let me just preface this by saying I don’t miss the days when my kids were all younger than 10 years old. Life was hard yo! Thomas was off the hook and the girls were; well… girls. No one was “bad” or made me sad or regret that I had them. It’s just that I don’t think people will admit that raising kids to be responsible adults is not an easy task. Throw a special needs one in the midst and boom! A really different kind of family dynamic exists. Especially when that social needs child isn’t properly diagnosed until they are almost 12 years old and you feel like you’ve been floundering in the past.

Anyway…it’s a new normal here in my house. Thomas lives at his group home and has a life there, Alyssa and Sam are living their best life together and Lelly recently moved out to live in Manhattan. No one was “kicked out.” Alyssa and Lelly each left home on their own accord with their own individual plans for their lives. I miss them though. With Alyssa there wasn’t any chance of her staying in our house; she was getting married! But Lelly, ah Lelly did things her way just as she’s been doing all her life. She graduated high school early, graduated college early, landed a great job and quickly found a roommate and nice apartment. It all went so fast but I wouldn’t expect any less from her.

Dinner these days are usually just Tommy and I. Samantha has been at volleyball practice everyday after school so she eats dinner when she comes home later. After she eats she usually goes up to her room and we don’t see her for the rest of the evening, pretty typical teen behavior. And that’s ok. Work has been kicking my ass lately so I haven’t been the most talkative person on the planet.

I seriously never thought of my life the way it is now. People would say to us to enjoy the kids when they’re young…they grow up fast…you’ll miss these days…Yeah, yeah. We did enjoy them, they did certainly grow up fast but I don’t miss those days. I like my quiet house, sometimes it’s too quiet but I’ll live. I like spending time with Tommy. He still makes me laugh the way he did when we were younger. He’s very quick witted and he gets me. This weekend Samantha is away and Tommy took off on his motorcycle, I already did the grocery shopping and hit the thrift store. I should vacuum bit sitting here is more enjoyable.

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