My Dad is now recouperating in a rehab facility near his home. His surgeon wants his body to heal further before he starts chemotherapy. A few days ago I wasn’t even sure he was going to chose chemo. I don’t know how I feel either way about yes chemo or no chemo. I do want my dad to fight or rather I want to fight for him if that were possible. The only thing I can do is be there for him and pray and have my prayer warriors pray with me as they’ve been doing so faithfully.
As far as how my dad is doing these days, he’s doing well. He looks good, his color is good; he’s pink not pale or sallow looking. At meeting him you’d never know he has the diagnosis he has or has been through the surgery and sickness he’s been through. My mom upgraded his flip phone (yes I know…) to an iPhone and he’s been awesome about using it. In conversation he asks about other people and isn’t solely focused on himself when we talk. I don’t cry in front of my dad, well I haven’t so far and I have no intentions to do so.
I find when I’m with him I’m fine. No tears, no breaking down or unable to speak about him. I wish I could find a way to take that peace with me when I leave him.
Ok I lied. Today I came thisclose to crying in front of my father. I managed to get out of his room and on the elevator before the tears started. It’s so hard.