It’s Still Difficult

It’s been 2 and a half months since daddy passed away and it’s still hard. The weekends are still the time when I think of him the most. Monday through Friday I’m busy at work and after work I go to the gym so during the week my mind is totally occupied. I was in ShopRite today and immediately thought of daddy when I passed through the aisle with soda. Daddy always drank seltzer.

Its just so weird how time passes on no matter what you’re going through. Sometimes time passing helps the situation and sometimes it doesn’t. In this case I feel that time passing does help. But then all of a sudden you get a pang in your heart and then your heart hurts because you miss that person so very much. I miss daddy picking up the phone when I call. When I would call and ask for my mom, daddy would say, “well do you want to talk to her or are you just taking attendance?” It got to the point where I wouldn’t wait for him to ask, I’d just say, “ok…7:30 pm…mom is home…thanks” as if I were taking attendance. I miss that.

Daddy definitely had a unique sense of humor. And he wasn’t afraid to let it show. When he was in the hospital he was always making the aides and nurses laugh. It was nice to visit him and see the interaction he had with the staff.

I don’t know what I expected at this time two and a half months after he’s been gone. I’ve never experienced a loss this close and deep. I didn’t think I’d feel such a deep pang of pain while in ShopRite that’s for sure.


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