This new school year begins a new season of sorts. Gone are the lazy days of summer; the long daylight hours and the unstructured scheduled days. I’ll miss it. I had a really nice summer with my girls. Alyssa was working most of the time, Daniella kept herself busy with her friends for the most part and I managed to keep Samantha entertained with trips here and there to Chuckie Cheese and the new trampoline park that opened.

We’ve sort of eased into our new schedule. My kids haven’t had a full week of a school yet due to the observance of the Jewish holidays. I’m not complaining I’ve enjoyed the extra time off and continuing our unstructured days. I do wish however that the days stayed long. I’m worried about the depression rearing its ugly head due to the days being shorter. Seasonal affective disorder it’s called and its real.

So I’ve made an appointment with my physician to discuss and see what he says. He has a new office on 14th st at Union Square. Coincidentally there is a Nordstrom Rack store at Union square. Very cool, IMO anyway.

I’ve found another good thrift store in Manhattan. On 23rd st not far from where I work. I went yesterday after I finished with my one client of the day. It felt good to be wandering around the city with a cool destination in mind. I love Manhattan and all the crowds. Yesterday in the middle of the afternoon there were a ton of people bustling to various places they had to be. I love to people watch so it was nice to take note of what people were wearing, what’s now and “in”.

I found a couple of things at the thrift. A nice t shirt and a straw Michael Kors bag. A nice score and worth the walk.

Recently I had a routine screening mammogram done. It was supposed to be uneventful. Instead, two days later I received a phone call from the imagining center telling me I needed to make another appointment because, “The radiologist needs further images.” Great. Just what one wants to hear while watching one’s 9 year old daughter jump around at one of those indoor trampoline parks. I listened to the woman on the other end of the phone, made the new appointment and wrote down exactly what needed to be written on the new prescription for the follow up mammogram.

I then went home and hunted down the report that was sent to my midwife. I use a midwife for well woman care. She wasn’t in the office but thankfully the physician she works with was. He must have took pity on me because he got on the phone right away to tell me what the report said. It said I had “multiple masses”. The doctor was very kind and encouraged me to not worry too much due to the vagueness of the report. But of course to follow up and have the second mammogram. I thanked him and promptly told my husband what was up.

I then did what I do during times of great stress:  I went on my computer and looked up designer handbags. For me there is no other way to deal.  I stumbled upon this bag by Dooney and Bourke that I’d been eyeing for a couple of years now but just never pulled the trigger. http://www.dooney.com/florentine-small-satchel/8L980.html this is the bag. Not wanting to pay retail of course I then scoured the internet for a less expensive seller of said bag. I struck gold on ebay and found a seller with this bag for sale for a substantial amount lower than retail. After consulting with my soul sister Jackie it was decided that I needed to buy this bag. So one evening I did it, I hit the “buy it now” button and completed the transaction.

Now I had something else to obsess about other than this follow up mammogram. The seller sent me tracking info and I stalked the Fed ex website looking for updates. I was informed that the bag was to arrive on Saturday (today), perfect! The seller was requesting signature confirmation~no problem!  Tommy was supposed to be home Saturday as was Alyssa in case the bag arrived while I was at work.

All I had to do then was have the second mammogram Friday morning. I arrived and was taken pretty quickly. While I was there my husband texted me that our air conditioning compressor had broken down, we needed a new one. This information didn’t scare me as my husband is an air conditioning mechanic, it’s what he does for a living among other things. So on to the mammogram. The first screening mammogram was nothing, it didn’t hurt but was merely uncomfortable. The technician was very nice. This second mammogram hurt! I had a wonderful technician who tried to be as gentle as possible but comfort and “diagnostic mammogram” are two words that do not belong in the same sentence. After the mammogram I had to have a sonogram which was fine not uncomfortable at all. After all was said and done the radiologist came to speak to me. Turns out I have a bunch of cysts which is not uncommon and is not dangerous or cancerous. Bottom line: I’m fine.  Who hoo!!   I almost skipped to my car and quickly texted my husband and Jackie that I am fine.

Fast forward to this morning (Saturday) as my husband is replacing our a/c compressor Fed Ex shows up!  Happy day! The bag arrived before I left for work so I was promptly able to move right in and enjoy her right away. My moral of the story? Buy a new bag to keep your mind occupied 😉

Vacation is almost over and it has been a wonderful week. Great friends, great weather, and a pool and beach that did not disappoint.
I’m tanned and a bit sunburnt (even with sunscreen SPF 30 at least). I miss my dogs and cats and my own bed. I also miss my house. I will however miss my housemates that I just spent a full week with. There was no fighting, no getting on each other’s nerves. Just a wonderful week with friends.

The pool here was glorious. I haven’t spent a whole day at the pool since I was 16-17 years old. I lounged on my chair with my water and awesome book (The Time Traveler’s Wife, I strongly recommend it). Soaking up the rays and dipping in the pool when I got too hot. It sounds relaxing and really was.

I also enjoyed some shopping of course. There is a wonderful quaint shopping center in town that I enjoyed walking around in. One day my friend Bill and I went to visit the site of The Lost Colony. My understand is that the site was host to explorers from England led by John White who settled in Roanoke Island, North Carolina in 1587. John White left to go back to England and when he returned to Roanoke Island 3 years later all the settlers had disappeared. There were no bodies or graves or any word that they moved on to another land. It is truly a mystery. Bill and I happened to be there the exact day of the baptism of the first child who was born on American soil (Virginia Dare born August 18,1587). Baptised August 20, 1587. It was really interesting to be there.

So tomorrow we will begin the journey home and it will be back to reality with vacation memories to keep and reflect upon.

That’s what we had for dinner last night. It was chicken legs coated in seasoned breading and baked. It was really good.

Yesterday I was chatting with one of my housemates about church. He asked why I chose the church I belong to. He assumed it was the people because my church has a reputation of having really nice people in attendance. I told him it was the devotionals that took place during half time at the church basketball games my girls played. The name of the league is Upward and you can read more about them at Upward.org.

Anyway about the devotionals. They were given by church members, staff members, pastors, and coaches. It was always a Gospel centered message and exactly what I needed to hear week after week during the basketball season. I started thinking about what I wanted and I definitely wanted a relationship with Christ.

We started attending church and our older girls became involved with the church youth groups. I accepted Christ as my saviour and on June 27, 2011 I was baptised. A couple of years later Alyssa, Daniella and Samantha were also baptized. I love the journey God has taken my family that has lead us to Him. It’s not an easy walk but I’d rather walk with the Lord than anyone else.

So while I’m on vacation I check my email and a different company that I applied for that also does flu shot clinics emailed me to let me know they were interested in hiring me per diem starting this September. The flu shot season is busiest in September, October and November.

They will be emailing me soon with access to their scheduling and I’ll be able to accept assignments. I’m excited to earn extra money and to do something different than I’m doing now.

It’s funny, Tommy and I were just talking about job opportunities for me and he was so encouraging saying that things were going to turn around and I was going to be offered another job as soon as the month of August was over.

We’re having a great time here at the beach. The weather has been nice and our friends that we are sharing the house with have been wonderful. It’s nice to be away from home for a little while.

Vacation time has finally arrived! It’s wonderful to be with great friends, a great house and at the beach… We drove here yesterday and I have to say I’m really enjoying this “my kids are older” stage of our life. No frequent potty breaks, no calling for me, “mommy, mommy, mommy” every 5 minutes from the back seat and minimal fighting from them. I dare say the 8 hour ride was quite pleasant.

We spent all of last night eating and drinking and talking and laughing. Perfect. Today will be a beach day. Hoping the water will be relatively calm. We all took a walk on the beach last night and saw the most amazing sand crabs. Tommy thought ahead and brought this really bright flash light. The sand crabs were totally hysterical the way they move so fast and the little baby ones were ridiculously fast.

It’s early morning here and I’m the only one up. I’m sure that will change rather quickly.

I haven’t made it a secret that I take medication to manage my depression and anxiety. Honestly I wouldn’t be doing as well as I am without the meds. However it comes with a price and for me that price is weight gain. I’m not happy about it at all. The one medication that is known for weight gain is the one medication that pulled it all together for me. It’s an SSRI (selective seratonin reuptake inhibitor) classification. And weight gain among others is a common side effect. I can live with the other side effects it’s the weight gain that’s bugging me the most.

I’ve taken to actually using our treadmill on a regular basis instead of vacuuming the dog hair off of it. My next step is to go to the gym instead of just talking about it and give the new sneakers I had to have a true workout. I remember reading about this medication when I first started taking it back in March of this year. I read the complaints about weight gain but I blew them off thinking, “that won’t be me”. I know I shouldn’t be complaining, I am feeling better and the world is a nicer place as a result of this new med.

I need to stop googling.

In other news I’m still waiting for the new job opportunity to contact me about starting their flu shot clinics. I’m eager to get started. I’m hoping the nose ring doesn’t conflict with their “business casual” dress code. I figure I can get to just about any part of Manhattan by 10 am during the school year after bringing Samantha to school. So now I wait not so patiently.

Tonight I’m going back to the tattoo parlor to have the tattoo artist add on to my newest tattoo. There’s a part near to my inner thigh that I’m not thrilled with. I’ve already discussed this with the artist and he knows what I want. I’m not looking forward to this visit as this last tattoo hurt like hell to have done. None of my other tattoos hurt like this one. I’ve also not received as many compliments on a tattoo as I’ve gotten on this one. Strangers stop me to comment.

I’ve also decided I want another tattoo on my right wrist it will either say “Blessed” or ” Believe”, I haven’t decided yet. I am blessed and I do believe, so there is my lack of decisiveness. I want to be able to cover the tattoo with my watch band or shirt sleeve if need be. The new job opportunity I’m pursuing has a dress code of “business casual” so I’m sure tattoos aren’t a part of that.

I’m leaving now, I’ll probably pick this up after the added on tattoo.

I’m back. The artist suggested another feather to cover the part that was bothering me.  I appreciate his opinion and artistry. Right now my leg is stinging and covered with a bandage. I’ll post a picture soon. A before and after sounds right.

I recently celebrated 4 years of being a non smoker. I quit on June 27th, 2011. Cold turkey; no patch, no gum, no hypnosis, no electronic cigarettes. I’m glad I did it that way, it worked for me. Plus my husband challenged me holding an expensive, much wanted handbag over my head as a reward for quitting. I was a woman possessed and stalked the designer’s website. Every.Single.Night. Debating which bag I was getting.

I remember the kids were all home for the summer. I had read somewhere that it takes 3 days for nicotine to leave your system. Needless to say I was an anxious, irritable mess and my husband was questioning whether this was the best time for me to quit. He called me from work and heard in my voice the anxiety and irritability. He said, “You know…maybe this wasn’t the best time for you to quit what with the kids home all the time…”  I quickly answered, “Oh no…I’m not going back now, I’m 3 days in, I’m not going through these 3 days again!”

My only consolation was cleaning, or rather cleaning out closets and tossing things we no longer needed or thought we no longer needed. Thomas was my ever present helper. After I got done with the closets I felt at a loss, what to clean now?  Ah ha! The attic was perfect :). Armed with my trusty garbage bags, Thomas and I tackled the attic. It became comical after a week or two. Literally right after the trash was collected and our trash pails empty there I was ready to fill them again, and fill them I did. Tommy asked me to slow down. Nope. I couldn’t, I was a woman on a mission.

After a week had passed, it was July 4th. I announced to my husband that it was time to get my handbag I had called the boutique and they were indeed open! However I put a self imposed “catch” to this coveted handbag. I wouldn’t use the bag until I earned it. I would wait until the money I would have spent on smoking equaled the cost of the bag. It took three months believe it or not. I was a pack a day smoker so the cost of one pack of cigarettes times 90 days give or take equaled my beloved purse. I would take it out of the box and dust bag to stare at but I would not use her.

It’s been 4 years and I’d be lying if I said I don’t miss smoking. I do. I don’t miss all the risks and damage to my health. I don’t miss the smell. It’s funny I feel like I can smell a smoker a mile away these days. And part of me feels bad for them especially the young ones. I hope I never go back Tommy already said he’d take my bags away, I can’t have that!

I’m in a position right now where I have no choice but to trust in the Lord. Trust that I won’t fall flat on my face. Trust Him that the path he is leading me on is right. I won’t lie and say I’m not nervous; I am, but I keep telling myself that He won’t let me down, He is leading my way and all I have to do is have faith and follow.

I think back to when I was younger, before I was saved or born again. I still knew God was with me and no one else could lead me down the roads I traveled. He did go before me and that’s what I have to tell myself now. That He’s already been where I’m going. I think back to the first time we had to have Thomas live at a residential school. Thomas was 8 and Tommy and I took this decision very seriously and we were diligent when we visited schools I don’t know how we could not be as diligent as we were.This was a very difficult time in our lives. I remember visiting, I think it was the third school on our list. The first two were not places we wanted Thomas to be at, one was dirty and the other was 3 hours away. . Anyway we met with the admissions director and she reviewed Thomas’ “packet”  which is composed of every evaluation you could think of, including IQ scores. I remember touring the school and both Tommy and I loved it. I remember excusing myself to use the ladies room and while in there I prayed harder than I ever prayed in my life for Thomas to be able to attend this school. Before that day I’d always prayed for guidance and direction when it came to Thomas, That day however I was desperate and I know the Lord heard me. Thomas was accepted to that school. This difficult decision was made less difficult thanks to a loving God who heard my prayer and answered yes.

Today I still pray for guidance and ask for forgiveness when I doubt in Him. I ask the Lord to be with me when situations arise and I don’t feel confidant. I know He will never leave or forsake me.