Thomas comes to our house every Sunday. It’s his schedule, every Sunday from about 1:30/2:00 to 6:00. He doesn’t like to come any other day but Sunday. I once had him over for dinner on a Monday evening when Sunday didn’t happen. I picked him up after work. It didn’t go well. He was more high maintenance than usual, very needy and I think we all couldn’t wait for him (Including Thomas) to go back to his house after dinner. After that, Thomas told me, “ no more Mondays mom…no more Mondays. Only Sundays.” No problem. And we’ve stuck to that schedule ever since.
Today after I picked him up, Thomas told us all about his Saturday. The staff took the residents to the Safari at Six Flags and then to eat. I thought that was really cool. I’ve never been to the Safari, I enjoyed hearing about the animals they saw.
Some Sundays are more challenging than others. Even though we only see Thomas once a week he still knows how to push buttons. And on more than one occasion the short time he was here seemed like forever. I love my son don’t get me wrong but he can be a handful. He has a memory like a freaking elephant and will hold nothing back to tell you his perception of things that have transpired in the past. Last week Thomas blamed me for calling an ambulance for him years ago. His memory that is usually so fail proof must have blocked out that he was out of control and violent and I had no choice but to call 911. I reminded him gently that I had to call an ambulance for him and why but he would’t hear it. I on the other hand refused to be blamed for defending myself. I dropped him off feeling a bit, I don’t know, not traumatized but more defensive I guess. I know what I did was the right thing to do at the time.
Today Thomas was a pleasure to be with. No deep reflections on the past from him or me defending my actions. Mostly talk about the Safari trip and telling us how much he enjoys his new clothes that he purchased with recent birthday gift cards. You know, I don’t dwell on the past with Thomas. Things happened that I’ll never forget, but I have forgiven him. I would never be in the place I am now without forgiveness.
Menay O; mom to 4, Christian and thrift shopper on the side... 