I was at the thrift store yesterday (duh, it’s Saturday). The check out line was really long, turns out it was half off day. I’m chatting with this woman on line ahead of me. She was talking about her daughter clearing out her closet of shoes. I emphatically told her I understand, haha. I asked if the daughter had gotten a new job and she said yes; she will begin a new job as a Nurse Practitioner. I congratulated her and said that I am a nurse. She asked if I were still working? (????) I told her I work at a school for special education and medically fragile students. That I love my job.

This is not the first time I’ve been asked by people who do not know me if I were still working. That question pretty much punches me in the stomach. Do I look like I should be retired? Just how old do I look? These are rhetorical questions to torture my husband with later. I have many friends my age who are working full time. I never ask when they will retire. I’ve never asked anyone I’ve just met if they are retired, no matter what I guess their age to be.

Many of my coworkers ask “how many years do you have in?” Because we work for the city. I explain honestly I began late, that for many years I was home with my kids, mainly due to Thomas. Everyone understands. I would say more than half of the school staff know I have a special needs son. There are a few who are aware Thomas attended residential school.

Anyway… my point is omg just how old do I look?? This is an absolute rhetorical question. I leave the house thinking I look acceptable for public viewing. Nice shoes; check! Nice bag; check! At the very least mascara; check! With the rare exception of taking out the garbage I never leave the house in any sort of pajamas. Even when I brought my kids to school; I was dressed.

Maybe Botox? I don’t know.

We’ve completed 2 of the 6 weeks that make up summer session. Our school and other D75 schools are 12 month programs. We work September to June and we have a choice if we want to work the summer. Last year I chose to work half; 3 weeks. It was not pleasant.

In addition to taking care of my students I was slammed with requests for nurses to cover multiple field trips. If a student has nursing/medical orders even if the medication or procedure is on an “as needed basis” they require a nurse to accompany the class on the trip. Last summer I had to get special permission to work overtime to input the requests to cover multiple trips. To be honest I was so overwhelmed by the end of the 3 weeks I couldn’t wait to leave. Yes I missed the extra money but there is something to be said for sanity.

This summer Meg (the nurse I work with) and I agreed to work the whole 6 weeks. At the end of week one I was seriously wondering wtf did I sign up for? For the last 9 years that I’ve been working summer the vibe has been pleasant, lighthearted, making things fun for the students. We all chose to work so there was an easy going way about everyone. This summer? No. Nope. No. You can feel the difference right away. Not to mention those nursing coverage trip requests. I have NO issue whatsoever with our students going on field trips. The entering of the trip information to the computer program is a process. A stack of trip requests takes time to enter. And…there is no guarantee a trip nurse will be available to cover; or want to.

I have issue with persons not new to the school who do not acknowledge that many of our students have medical needs. This past week, a teacher actually asked that the teachers be made aware when the trip nurse arrived. I answered of course, we always do. Person then said, “The teachers need to give the nurse the students medication.” Wide eyed I looked at her and said “what are you talking about?” She actually scared me for a minute thinking she was giving kids meds. Her answer, “Epi-pens. We have their epi pens.” Omg. Yes. Epi pens are extremely important to a student with allergies. No doubt about it. However in my nursing world I was concerned with packing up emergency seizure meds, emergency asthma meds, portable nebulizer, daily meds, supplies for students living with diabetes, in addition to epi pens and Benadryl as needed. And giving report to the trip nurse to explain which student needed what and ensure copies of their orders were with the meds. To listen to an educated person say they need to hand over epi pens as if that were the *only* medical need for our students. Omg. I can’t. 4 more weeks. I’m seriously hoping for better days.

Thomas turns 30 today. I’m honest, Thomas’ birthday is difficult on Tommy and me. I can remember everything in the days leading up to his birth. Same with my girls. I remember when I felt “ready” and then realized I was in labor. When I was pregnant with Thomas we were living in an amazing apartment owned by our friend’s father. On July 4, I *had* to get an area rug for our living room. Tommy was sweet enough to agree and we were off to a local home store. We agreed on a shade of purple rug, we had a neutral decor in the living room, so the rug went well. Of course I insisted we put the rug down that evening. Again, Tommy was great and we did. We settled down on the couch to watch a rented movie, Apollo 13. I fell asleep and woke up later from the contractions. The midwife told me to get some sleep, the contractions were too far apart. I did manage to get some sleep and woke up around 7 am with much stronger contractions much closer together. Weirdly coincidental; Apollo 13 was playing on television last night. Talk about dejavu!

Thomas was born on his due date July 5. Tommy was so, so proud. I didn’t know which end was up. After I met Thomas, Tommy proudly accompanied him to the newborn nursery while I was still in the L and D room. I had had an epidural (first and last), so I had to wait for it to wear off, get cleaned up a bit. I just knew the delivery was over and my sister and mother stayed with me.

I hated that I had the epidural. When I arrived to my room, I was told to NOT get up by myself. Of course I did and watched the room spin while trying to get to the bathroom. I didn’t fall but came really close. Thomas was brought to me. I remember just looking at him, studying him, unswaddling him to see all of him. It was surreal and great and scary all at the same time.

During my pregnancy I worked the overnight shift at that hospital. Everyone I worked with came up to see me at all hours lol. It was crazy but sweet. They offered me to be discharged after 24 hours. Since no one let me sleep I figured we would just go home. Little did I know how little sleep I was really in for. Haha. I was exclusively breastfeeding. So, as instructed I woke Thomas every 3 hours to eat. Yes I woke a sleeping baby. Again; first time mom. Tommy just sat back and let me be a control freak. He was home was from work for 2 weeks. Tommy was sweet and made me lunch one afternoon. I insisted I had to wake Thomas to eat. Tommy was like Menay, it won’t hurt him to eat first and wait 15 min to feed him. Oh….No. I insisted on feeding him first, then changing his diaper. Then, I could eat. By that time the baby lobster tails were so overcooked and shriveled and my husband was not happy with me. I ate it all anyway and said it was delicious. Both of us never forgot that lunch.

We never forget our firsts. And how we live and learn. Thomas taught me more than he’ll ever know.