My Thomas celebrated his 18th birthday this past week. It kind of blew me away that my first baby is now 18 years old. 18 years. It truly seems like yesterday I gave birth. I guess it will always seem that way no matter how old my children get. But 18…man! That’s a milestone. And what an 18 years it has been. How different things would have been if Thomas were an average “typical” child. But that’s not how God wanted it, planned it. It’s taken me a long time to accept that fact. That no matter what I did or didn’t do during my pregnancy and what the midwife did or didn’t do during Thomas’ delivery, The Father was/is in charge and was overseeing everything so that His plan was the one that played out.
It’s hard not to imagine what life could have been like had Thomas not been born the way he was. I like to tell myself there are no guarantees that he would have been a walk in the park. There’s no way of knowing if drugs would have been an issue. Would he have been extremely rebellious? Cutting school? I don’t know. I had a dream not to long ago that Thomas was completely typical. We were sitting together with Alyssa and talking. I don’t remember what we talked about but it was amazing and took me all day to get over that dream. My husband has had a similar dream as well. Was that a gift from The Lord to show us what to expect when we are no longer a part of this world? That there is a part of Thomas He has yet to reveal to us?
18 years old. 18 years of loving this child, fighting for him, changing who I am at my very core, my soul. Being who Thomas is changed me for who I am. I know that was part of The Lord’s plan as well. Amazing isn’t it? The domino effect.
We had an awesome family celebration for Thomas at a local restaurant by his school. Practically the whole staff came out to sing him Happy Birthday. Thomas was overwhelmed and almost hid behind Tommy. I stared at this child of mine. He’s still and always will be my “child” but now he’s a young man. The Lord will continue to work in us and He will continue to give us “gifts” that will glorify Him.