A month or so ago I saw an ad on Facebook marketplace for a motorcycle with the specifications Tommy felt would be appropriate for me as a new rider. I wanted to buy new but my husband’s recommendation was to start off with a used bike, something we could pay for in cash and not have a payment. I agreed. He is a wise one.

For a couple of weeks the owner of the motorcycle and me went back and forth over when we could meet at a time that was convenient for both of us. Finally last week Tommy and I ran out to Edison NJ to see the bike. Tommy took the bike out for a ride while I stood and made small talk with the owner. He was nice enough, younger than us, getting married next year. Tommy felt the bike was good for me. The next day we went back to bring her home. I was following Tommy at some points during the drive home. I was able to watch him ride a motorcycle. When my husband goes for a ride on his motorcycle I don’t get to watch him ride, I say goodbye and he takes off into the proverbial sunset. It was so cool to watch him ride. To watch him do everything I’ve been learning in my classes. It was great I tell you. I have a whole new appreciation for him as my husband and a motorcycle rider.

I hesitate to even publish this post as I still need to pass the motorcycle road test. I can pass all the written tests you give me, I’m book smart. But I’m a hands on learner as well, I need to “do” to learn, I need hands on experience. I’m like that at work too. If there is a nursing procedure I need to learn I need to have a hands on learning experience. It’s the exact same situation with me learning to ride. I take my road test in a little over a week. I really, really hope I pass. I’m dying to ride my bike complete with a bedazzled license plate holder. It wouldn’t be mine without some rhinestones and bling.

So….  I took my road test today and passed!!  I’m so so excited and proud!!  The instructor was beyond awesome and the other students in the class which were all men were totally cool. I passed!!!!

 

When I graduated college with my degree  in nursing I did what most of new nurses did and still do; I went to work at a hospital. My first job was on a neuro unit. The unit was comprised of the neuro floor, Neuro ICU and also a ventilator unit. We were rotated to the different areas of the unit. I wish I could say I liked it there but I didn’t. As a new nurse I was not comfortable in my own skin even though I worked with some of the greatest most helpful nurses ever.

The floor I was on was a very “heavy” floor with a tough workload, both physically and emotionally.  I began to not like it there. I though if I changed the shift that I worked things would be different or better. At first it was better. I went from the day shift to overnights. The night staff was awesome, very friendly and very helpful. Very little gossiping and chit chat about other people as compared to the day shift. I stayed on nights until I had my son Thomas. When I returned to work I requested the evening shift and was approved. I really enjoyed evenings as I was able to see the patient’s families and be available to answer their questions or just talk if that’s what they needed. But the unit was just so heavy! It was tough on me emotionally and I began to wish I didn’t work there. I’m fact I felt as though I was confined to always working at a hospital so I did not want to even work as a nurse.

When Thomas was 6 months old it became apparent that we were at the very beginning of a very long road that was yet to be revealed. Tommy and I talked it over and I left the hospital to stay home full time. It felt as though a weight had been lifted. As life with Thomas became more complicated due to his needs, I realized I had little to no desire at all to even try and continue working as a nurse. Then Alyssa came along. And things with Thomas worsened. A few years pass and Daniella is born. Life was very hard. And working as a nurse wasn’t even on my radar.

When Daniella was about a year old, things with Thomas had escalated. I took a job at a doctor’s office giving allergy injections. I liked interacting with the patients and kids but I did not like the  job.  I knew office nursing was not for me. Afterwards I tried my hand at retail, even high end retail. I discovered I had a knack and gift for selling expensive designer sunglasses. But retail is so difficult when you have a family and a husband who worked overtime so that gig didn’t last long.

Years pass and I decide to finally actively try to find employment as a nurse. I registered my nursing license, took CPR for healthcare providers. I had an open mind job wise. I found a listing for a pediatrician looking for an RN to pierce ears in Manhattan. I took the job as an easy entry back to work after being unemployed all that time. After a year I applied for and interviewed for a temporary,  full time position at an agency doing chart abstraction. My job was to take information from paper charts and apply it to a specific computer program. I really liked that job. I met really nice people and I learned quite a bit. Fast forward 10 months and the temporary job ended. I was pissed. I was used to working and I was used to the money.

I applied to an ad for a nurse to serve  special needs students with  the Department of Education. I’ve written about how blessed I am to have been hired and then placed here in the borough where I live. School nursing saved my career. If one had told me years ago that I would be working here and loving what I do and where I work I would have laughed in your face and told you how crazy that idea was. I was so turned off by nursing years ago. It’s only through the grace of  God that I’m here today working as a nurse and totally enjoying what I do. School nursing is not a  field I would have chosen, it was chosen for me and today I wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

Next year Tommy and I will be married 25 years. We are together longer than half our lives. I love my husband. He’s a good looking guy, wise, and smart and caring and he loves me; all rolled up together in this amazing human being. We started dating when we were 17 years old, friends for 2 years before that. We had plenty of drama in our dating years and even a break up here and there but we always managed to end up together when all was said and done. When Tommy proposed when we were 23 years old I was truly surprised. I was in nursing school and getting engaged wasn’t on my radar. I asked Tommy why he proposed to me at that time and he said it was because I never gave him an ultimatum. I never told him I wanted a ring/get engaged, that we had been together for X amount of years and it was time… I didn’t do that to him.

Today we had an opportunity to attend a marriage conference held at our church. The couple running the conference were guest preachers at services this morning. It was a preacher from the South and his wife of 27 years. When they mentioned how long they’ve been married I was like,”ok, I can relate to that.” Then they started taking about different times in their marriage that were stressful. Like they were both working too hard for their ministry, their children weren’t well behaved, they were both working too much and their marriage wasn’t where they wanted it to be, etc…  I started to tune out. In my life both past and present  there was no way I could relate to them.

When our kids were younger I was proud that they were well behaved when we were out in public. Even Thomas who was hell on wheels at home would keep it together at a party or get together. Was it easy?  Hell no. Worth it? Totally. Tommy and I both worked extremely hard to keep our family afloat. He worked tremendously long hours outside the home and I worked so hard to keep up with everything inside the home, including trying to get help for Thomas who was out of control and undiagnosed. I remember finding a specialist in Manhattan uptown on the West side. I had decided to drive in rather than navigate public transportation. Thank you Thomas; you got your mama to learn to drive in Manhattan.

I’m not sure what my point is. We are certainly no experts when it comes to marriage, But I know what it’s like to humble myself. I know what it’s like to call out to my Savior for help and salvation and surrender my life to Him.  The Heavenly Father is my guide in this life. God is so good.

I’m not opposed to marriage work shops, it would need to be run by a couple we could relate to. Actually if it were another couple with more challenges in their married life than the couple I was exposed to yesterday would be ideal. Such is my opinion.

 

 

When I was younger I used to think that maybe I didn’t believe in God enough because I never saw God physically move a mountain from one place to another. It took me a while to understand that He moves mountains all the time, and there are times he chooses to leave the mountains as they are. I had to grow and understand that mountains aren’t always literal physical tall mounds of earth. Mountains are often times insurmountable situations, times when things look incredibly bleak and only God can change the outcomes. I’ve seen God work his wonder in my life.

It was a month before Thomas’ 16th birthday, instead of a party we were planning for him to go live a a residential school an hour away. Thomas’ behavior has become way too much for us to handle at home safely. So the residential school had given us a date mid June for him to be admitted. I alerted his current school and I had to inform his recreational programs that he would no longer be attending. After discontinuing all Thomas’ services the residential school called to tell me Thomas would not be admitted there until the very end of June. It was like a kick to the stomach. I just about cried to the social worker telling her they can’t do that, I have no services for Thomas, I gave everything up on their word that he would be admitted to their program at the date they said. The social worker hung up and within 2 hours called me back to say Thomas would be admitted to their program at the original date promised and if not she would come to my house and live here until he was admitted. I cried. Only God could have moved that mountain. Only God could have directed our steps to find that school in the first place.

I saw God give my father 11 months of life after the Doctors, the “experts” gave him 3 months to live. God allowed us to spend extra time with my dad and even let us all say goodbye in our own way when daddy was receiving hospice care. God sent an amazing nurse to be with my mom. She stayed after working 12 hours, so my mom wouldn’t be alone when daddy crossed over to the other side. 

I believe God has moved a mountain for all of us at one time or another. Matthew 17:20,  referring to Jesus speaking, “He said to them, “Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.” How wonderful is out God.

 

I went platinum/very light blonde over a month ago. That look is pretty high maintenance for me anyway. I’ve been looking at various colors online. I really like a couple but today decided on “Intense red copper.”  I’m back to coloring my hair myself for no other reason than I don’t like paying for something I can do easily myself. When I decide to do a more complicated color scheme I’ll have my stylist do it.

Ive been coloring my hair since I was 16 years old. I remember my own hair color to be a very dark blonde/light brown. I also remember that I didn’t like it at all. I wanted to be blonde in the worst way, so my mom made it happen. Since then my hair has been just about every color of the hair rainbow with the exception of black or very dark brown. Those are too dark for my complexion.

I’m envious of people who pick a hair color and stay with it for the long haul. I get bored way too easily and the next thing I know I’m off searching for the next color. My hair is short so it can handle all the colors I put it through. If the ends get damaged it’s usually taken care of by the next haircut.

I cleared out my shoe closet!  That sentence deserves an exclamation point due to the sheer volume of shoes I have in my possession. I am a self admitted shoe and bag whore. There are a “ton” of shoes I am donating because I’m not wearing them anymore. Alyssa feels I should sell them but I don’t have the patience to keep taking up that much room in my closet. Besides it’s good thrifting karma to donate nice things. I won’t donate things with holes or rips/tears or simply in bad condition. I see things like that all the time at the Sal Val. I don’t understand why people think that other people want their damaged belongings. It’s rude and thoughtless. If a shirt has stains for goodness sake throw it away, don’t donate it.

So my hair came out more on the warm pinkish side than red. Go figure. All is well it’s only hair it can be colored again.

 

 

 

School officially began yesterday, Thursday September 5th. There weren’t as many students in attendance as I though there would be. Only 1 of my 5 students who need nursing services showed up. One student that is “mine” was here but had no doctor’s orders for me to carry out her care so she had to be picked up.

Today, the second day of school was busy, not physically busy as most of my students were absent again but paper work busy. My head hurts from transferring paper work onto the computer. These past couple of days do have their bright spots. I was able to see a lot of staff who didn’t work the summer program and I missed quite a few of them; and I was able to catch up with the staff I did work with over the summer. What we all did after the summer program ended. It was nice.

I believe this coming Monday will be very busy physically because I predict most of my students will be attending school and I have a full assignment of both students who receive care daily on a schedule and also students who receive care on an as needed basis. I think a lot of parents couldn’t be bothered to send their child in to school for 2 days then be off the weekend. I don’t think I’ll ever understand the Dept of education’s rational for when they chose days to start a new school year.

I miss my students who haven’t been to school. I love my job which is primarily providing care for those that aren’t able to care for themselves. I do not work in a bubble, there are a lot of paraprofessionals at my school who do more physical work than I do and for them I am very grateful. The teachers at my school are also top notch. They are very dedicated to the students and strive to bring out the best in their students.

I really do love my school. I can’t imagine working anywhere else at this point in time and I so thankful I was able to get this position here, 15 minutes from where I live. When I was hired by the DOE I was supposed to be placed in a school in Manhattan, with a population much like the one at my school. Things turned quickly when I was training at Hungerford and the principal discovered my Thomas used to attend Hungerford at this very site. She said she wanted a Hungerford mom and bingo, there I was. I know I was destined to be a district 75 (medically fragile population) nurse. There are no coincidences and God plans it all. I’ll never forget praying after my hiring interview; I said, “God, if this is where you want me to be, if this is the  direction I’m supposed to take I will follow you. My life is in your hands I surrender.” Next thing I knew I was being congratulated for being hired and being led to meet the supervisor for all of District 75. I’m living proof that prayer works and surrendering  and trusting in The Lord is the only way to serve Him. God loves you.

September 3 is my dad’s birthday. I forget how old he would have been, don’t shame me, I’ve never been able to remember my dad’s age.  What I don’t forget is that date. From June 16-August 1 it seems we have birthdays every week in my family. It begins with my sister and mother and ends with Samantha. We had a month’s reprieve from birthday celebrations until daddy’s birthday on September 3.

We always celebrated his birthday on Labor Day weekend, makes sense since that’s when the 3rd usually fell. When my parents moved to NJ we always celebrated the Sunday of the weekend to avoid coming home in holiday traffic on the Monday. Today, my Facebook feed had a picture of my dad and me from 6 years ago celebrating his birthday. He looked so happy and healthy. It’s a great picture but I didn’t share it. It’s difficult. I miss him. I miss everything about him. His laugh, the way he would have a story for every situation in life, how proud he was of just about everything we did; even my thrift finds. My dad’s mother was of Scottish background and daddy used to say he was “frugal” (aka: cheap) because of her and the way he was raised and of course his Scottish heritage. I wish I could tell him about us going to Sanibel Island with my mom. He would have gotten a kick out of us all in that condo. While at Sanibel my mom and I spent a lot of time in the water which was the Gulf of Mexico. The water was so warm it was unreal, the closer you were to the shore the warmer it was, like bath water. My dad used to like the watch the pelicans in Sanibel. They would fly very close to the top of the Gulf then dive head first in the water to catch a fish. They were extremely graceful believe it or not. We saw so many of them, I do believe we were in a way watching my dad who is now able to do whatever he wants even fly.

My dad is now with the Heavenly Father watching us. I know he sees everything but I still miss talking to him and having him here. I think the worst thing about someone passing over is not them actually dying. When they pass on it’s to be celebrated as they’re now with God the Father, living in the Heavenly kingdom for eternity. I love Billy Graham’s quote, “Our last breath on earth is followed by our first breath in Heaven.” I think that image is just beautiful. The worst thing about a loved one passing on is the day to day living without them. The permanency  That’s when the tears come; for me anyway.

So in 2 days it will be September 3. And we’ll remember daddy in our own ways and even have a laugh or two.

I’m off from work until September 3. Yesterday I had an appointment on the upper West side so of course I hit the thrifts in that area. I did so well!  It was definitely worth the extra time I put in to get to the city earlier than my appointment and then time spent after said appointment. Early in the day I went to the Salvation Army and scored some interesting, unique clothes that I won’t see myself coming and going in while at work or anywhere else for that matter. That’s what I love about thrifting, there are so many times that what you find; well there isn’t any others floating around, and if it’s a designer item you pay a very low amount of money for it compared to retail. You have to know your brands though.

I do have certain rules that I won’t break concerning thrift shopping. I don’t buy inexpensive clothes like from Forever 21 or H and M. I was educated by my daughter that those retailers are considered “fast fashion” and the clothes aren’t made to really last more than a season; trend wise and construction wise. I typically only buy things I other wise wouldn’t pay retail for such as designer denim and tops. I love, love scoring Current Elliot, Fidelity, or Seven for all Mankind jeans at the thrift, it’s totally the thrill of the hunt for me. I won’t purchase undergarments or bathing suits…ick, enough said. Shoes have to be same as clothes, meaning shoes I wouldn’t have paid retail for and they must be in very good to excellent condition. Yesterday I scored an awesome pair of suede loafers by Tods and a (new) pair of sneakers from a brand called Linder=never heard of them, I heart google.

I know thrifting isn’t for everyone. Some people don’t have the patience, time and/or are skeeved out by it, and that’s ok: more for the rest of us! I grew up going to yard sales and small obscure stores in Manhattan with my grandfather. We always had a great time with him. Those were the days you could take your car on the ferry and you were then free to explore downtown in your own vehicle. Today: I think not. I was taught by one of the best. My other thrifting mentor wasn’t Aunt Marge, my mom’s sister. She lived 4 hours away Upstate and every time we visited we had to hit the thrift store and yard sales of course. Aunt Marge had a gift for finding gold and sterling silver jewelry, like she could spot a 14k gold chain at 40 paces it was crazy! I did not inherit that gift lol. I remember going to yard sales with Thomas years ago and then calling Aunt Marge on the cell to make sure I was getting a good deal, it was a lot of fun. I’m convinced that Aunt Marge was right that we’re all supposed to find what we find, you can’t be all envious of a fellow shopper’s finds. Because those things weren’t meant for you to find. Today the girl behind me in line found a beautiful Fendi bag that she showed me, I was so happy for her and told her so. It’s bad personally to be all envious/jealous. You find what you find.

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Lelly has officially moved into her dorm today. Tommy and I and her boyfriend, Viyath took the ride into Manhattan with all her “stuff” to move her in. It went very smooth I must say and I didn’t cry once. I’m glad I went up with her and all her things, that I was able to see the actual dorm room. It’s actually the size of a studio apartment with an area for 2 beds, 2 desks, 2 free standing closets, small kitchen area and their own bathroom.

I think I’d she were further away than Manhattan I would be upset and miss her terribly. But knowing how close she is geographically to us and that Tommy works literally blocks away makes me feel better. The ride home I was thinking back to when Lelly was a toddler. I used to sit out front with the kids when they were all small and they would play or ride their bikes up and down the block. Not Lelly, she would run as fast as she could down to the corner and I would be fast on her heels terrified that she would run into the street; catch her; being her back to the house and minutes later start the whole thing over until I was tired of chasing her and take everyone back in the house. When she learned to ride a tricycle she would ride as fast as those little legs could peddle. One neighbor remarked that Lelly learned how to ride a tricycle so she could get from here to there faster because running had become too slow for her.

When Lelly was born she was my smallest baby at 7.5 pounds. Thomas couldn’t say Daniella, it came out Da-lella and somehow morphed into Lelly. Because she was smaller at birth than Alyssa and Thomas we called her Lelly-bird. Sometimes referring to her as simply “the bird”. Well my bird has wings and I’m happy for her. I am going to miss her living here but I know I will see her often. I guess it’s the best of both worlds for all of us.

 

 

 

Today is our last day on this beach paradise, Sanibel Island. The beach is spotless and the water so clear, it reminds me of the Outer Banks in North Carolina but quieter. I like the quiet. This town is very quiet, like there is no “town” just a strip/street leading through to stores and restaurants. Yesterday we visited a sea shell store which was very expensive, IMO anyway. The shells were gorgeous and some huge but not my cup of tea. We then found this hole in the wall antique shop that was amazing. It was wall after wall and room after room of amazing finds. You name it and his shop had it. A whole wall of antique medicine remedies, like God knows what the ingredients were in those days lol!  I found a really nice pair of black stone earrings, I was looking for antique nursing  memorabilia but they didn’t have any.

This morning we hit the outlets again. I wasn’t thrilled with the bag I bought the other day, and had my eye on another that came straight from the retail store. It is gorgeous, it’s a light beige/nude color with burgundy suede interior. The model is called the “rogue”. Beautiful. I also scored a very thoughtful, perfect gift for our good friend Brant who helped us out with taking care of our animals. After the repeat trip to the outlets we were ready to return to the condo and sort out boarding passes for the flight home. I’m a bit excited to go home, I find a week away is enough for me. Plus I have another week off before school starts again in September. I really don’t miss work all too much. I’m glad I worked the summer don’t get me wrong but it’s nice to have downtime and do things you ordinarily wouldn’t do, like go to the beach everyday and spend quality time with your husband. I will be sad to leave Sanibel.