Today  was an ordinary Sunday except that Tommy, Alyssa, Sam and Samantha went to the Yankee game and Lelly went to her friend’s house to go swimming and have a barbecue. The ordinary-ness of today is that I picked up Thomas from his group home and we went to the mall so I could return a top at Macy’s. Of course I came home with a dress in place of the top. Gotta keep things even.

Usually it’s Tommy, Samantha, Thomas and I; sometimes Lelly together on a Sunday. Today was just Thomas and me. A combo that hasn’t been seen in a long time. I picked him up at 1:30 after I went to church and we headed for the mall. He was very well behaved, not surprising because my son loves to shop. I’m not sure who he gets that from… Thomas and I chatted while I shopped quickly after returning the top. A quick detour to the pretzel stand and we were on our way home. A successful excursion!

We rode hone and I stopped for gas. Thomas was so well behaved as he waited in the car at the self serve station. Where I live we pump our own gas. We were then off to home or as Thomas calls it “your house.”  He doesn’t call my home his home anymore. He calls the group home where he lives “my house.” At first that stung a little. Even when Thomas was in residential school he called our house “home.”  It’s an odd feeling to hear your child call someplace else their home (or house) no matter how logical it is for it to happen.

I’ve discovered it’s a funny thing to make the decision to have your adult child live in a group home. It’s not a decision that many understand even though they themselves are living with a special needs adult child. Tommy and I weren’t given much of a choice given Thomas’ behavior which compromised our safety. Many parents I’ve spoken to say they aren’t ready and I respect that but at the same time I don’t know what that’s like because Tommy and I had to get ready; fast.

I often want to ask other parents when will they be ready? I’m not saying having your special needs child reside in a group home is the best thing since sliced bread or the only plan parents should have, but what plans are being made for the future? To expect your other children to take over their care is not fair and somewhat unrealistic. I expect our other children to be in contact with Thomas when Tommy and I are no longer living and I expect one or more to become his legal guardian, but I can’t expect them to have Thomas live with them and provide care for him.

I’m probably quite biased and this post could ruffle a few feathers because having Thomas live in a group home has been so far a positive experience for him and for us, thank God. The group home has an open door policy meaning at any given time we can go see Thomas unannounced. Don’t get me wrong I still feel this pang in my heart when I drop him off after spending the day with him. I wonder what it would’ve been like to have been a “normal” special needs family (whatever that may be) where our son didn’t need to attend residential school and then live in a group home. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned as Thomas’ mother is that situations are not about what you want, it’s what’s best for your child. And God will make a way when there doesn’t seem to be a way. Okay that’s 2 things.

Summer in the city… that’s the theme for the board of ed’s Summer program. I can’t argue with their choice of theme it is certainly summer in the city here. Work has been busier some days than others but for the most part the work has been steady and I’m not complaining. I am envious of my daughters who have the occasional beach day while I’m here at work but that’s ok, school lets out August 13 and time passes quickly.

The summer staff are great, there are substitute para professionals from other schools as well as other staff that are here just for the summer. Everyone is nice and the paras and teachers who work year round are extra great to work with because we all know each other and I think we bond more over the summer because working is optional.

Most of “my” students that I provide care for used to be on the second floor conveniently located down the hall from the nursing office. Those students have aged out of that convenient classroom and have been moved up to the third floor. I get plenty of exercise lately taking the stairs but all is well they’re still my kids and I know them and their parents.

I really don’t mind working for the summer, it’s extra money and I really don’t know what I would do all day, all week. I’m sure I would find something to do to keep my busy but then I’d also need to keep Samantha busy. Right now she attends day camp held at our church and she has a retreat planned with the church the end of July, beginning of August. She’s kept busy and memorizes bible verses all week. It’s all good.

 

 

Ever wonder how or why things turn out the way they do?  Like when an amazing “coincidence” occurs and all is right with the world?  Or when that door you wanted desperately to open doesn’t; yet later in your life you know why a window opened instead. How about when you’re going through the worst season, storm or valley ever in your life and when it’s over you realize you weren’t alone because God left his fingerprints all over you.

There are no coincidences. Our God orchestrates everything. I know this as sure as I know the sky is blue. Things don’t just magically fall into place without His divine intervention. When I begin to doubt His presence I always think of when I was hired for my current position.

I had just been laid off from the temporary job I had with a local nursing agency. I knew the job was temporary when I took it, but it’s never pleasant to be laid off. I learned how to apply for unemployment and I was a bit pissed because unemployment pays crap. Anyway I was at the gym and in between work outs I was on my phone job hunting on indeed.com. I came across an ad from the Board of Ed looking for nurses for Disrtict 75. District 75 is strictly special education with medically fragile students as well. A lot of people aren’t even aware of District 75 here where I live. I know I didn’t, until I learned about the Hungerford School which is part of District 75 and where I had Thomas placed to attend after residential school when he was 12 years old.

Anyway I saw this ad hiring nurses for District 75. And I held my breath when I hit “send” and applied. I had a vague idea of what I was applying for but no personal experience with school nursing especially District 75. The next thing I know I was answering an email to set up an interview in Long Island City, NY with the Board of Ed. I arrived for the interview and brought a copy of my resume. Thank goodness I did because they wanted it. I sat at this desk overlooking Long Island City and took a nursing test that made me remember things I learned in nursing school 20 years ago, it’s amazing what you remember, what is instilled in your brain. I scored an 80 on the test, yayy!. So then it was on to the interview. I sat across and next to 4 nursing supervisors who drilled me with questions making me dig deep into past nursing job experiences. After, I was told to go sit at this table and wait. All the while I’m Facebook’ing my friends and texting my mom. I was so nervous and all I knew is that I wanted this job. I started praying. I told God if this was His will, if this is what He wanted for my life I was in. No questions asked. I was following Him. The next thing I know I was called over to meet with the Director of Nursing. I sat across from her and she congratulated me on being hired.

Amazing I tell you. When I finally decided to give my all to God; to finally submit to His will for my life; it all fell into place. Everything. I was supposed to be placed at a school in Manhattan, but again there was a shake up if plans and I was placed at my current school…15 minutes from my house here at the borough where I live. Please don’t question His goodness. God is absolutely good. My life isn’t perfect, There are still peaks and valleys and times of uncertainty, but I know who is in control and He is good.

I’m in the nail salon minding my own business when this woman comes in with her special needs daughter. I’m so nosy I strike up a conversation asking where does her daughter attend school? Turns out the young woman is 27 yrs old!  She looks so young. The mom is very open and tells me her daughter, Christina goes to a particular day program and that she loves it there and they are very happy with their choice. I of course have to tell her about my Thomas and what program he attends. We had an awesome conversation for about 20 minutes while I was getting my powder gel manicure. Mom’s  name is Brenda and they live about 10 minutes away. I tell Brenda about the new special needs ministry at my church and she’s very interested in her daughter attending. So I’m excited for her because she’s excited to learn about the ministry.

It’s funny because I love talking to other parents who have special needs children. There’s like this unspoken bond once I reveal I am also a parent and I talk about my Thomas. I find that happens here and there at work also. That is, when I choose to tell another parent about my son. Sometimes it’s just not right and I maintain myself as just the nurse at this wonderful school where I work, other times I can’t help but to move when the spirit tells me to and I love to see the way the look on the other person’s face changes from one of polite general interest to, “oh wow…she KNOWS!” And 98% of the time I’m glad I divulged my personal life.

This is not a club I aspired to be in; ever. I remember when I was in college and had the opportunity to give to the special Olympics at St. John’s University in Queens. I was asked to judge the girls gymnastics competition. I was in awe the whole time. In awe of the athletes and in awe of their parents. I remember wondering at that time what it would be like to be one of those parents. Prophetic huh? I have to say it’s the best club I’ve ever been a part of even though the entry requirements were tough to manage. I would not be the person I am today if it weren’t for my Thomas. I was a pretty quiet person when I was a new young mother; but learned quite quick to find my voice since my son didn’t have one. I stood up to doctors and professionals who needed to be put in their place and I’ve learned when to be silent. None of those lessons were easy by any means. Regardless, my friends list on both Facebook and in my heart would be totally different if I didn’t have Thomas.

God knows what he’s doing when he chooses particular parents for particular children. I used to question His choice constantly and I was even angry at different times in my life. But one closed  door opens a window that leads to a path we otherwise wouldn’t have taken. And there’s no room for anger when you surrender your life and soul to the one true God.

Today we had believer’s baptism at church. It was amazing and powerful. I love watching fellow Christians publicly declare their faith and that they are followers of our risen Savior Jesus Christ.  Today before the baptisms Pastor John preached the definition of believers baptism. That it’s baptism by immersion, Jesus himself was baptized and it’s a practice that Jesus commanded believers to spread the Gospel and baptize believers. I was baptized as a baby as were my children. That was all I knew. However there’s isn’t anywhere in the. In the Bible that says we need to baptize babies.  As per the Bible the short version is that we are to form a relationship with Christ and then go public with that relationship with immersion believers baptism.

When I was first saved I had no intention of being baptized “again” since I was already baptized as a baby. It wasn’t until I actually met with the Lord did I really desire to be baptized. I finally understood, I got it.

My testimony of how I met the Lord is one I’ve written about before. I never got tired of telling it because it’s so true that Jesus will meet you where you are. You do not have to have it all together or conquer sin to meet Him. He is glorious and caring and amazing and everything you can imagine that He is. Six years ago life was not easy. Thomas has to stop one of his medications due to a dangerous side effect. That led to him becoming totally unglued and multiple hospitalizations. I was so, so angry. I was angry at God for allowing this to happen, and I wanted to know why our lives were suddenly turned upside down. I wanted to know God’s plan for us and I was angry because I wasn’t privy to that plan. One morning I was driving home after dropping Samantha off at pre-k. I was stopped at a traffic light listening to “Praise you in this storm” by the band Casting Crowns. Out of nowhere I started crying and crying, tears running down my face. “Every tear I’ve cried you hold in your hand…” when those lyrics came up I had a distinct vision of Jesus standing behind me with his hand on my shoulder as I’m crying and he then cupped his hand to catch my tears. It was so powerful I felt as though this was really happening. After that encounter I wasn’t angry anymore. I placed my trust and confidence in God and I no longer worried about what He had planned.

Meeting with the Lord isn’t anything magical or supernatural in fact it was the most natural experience ever. I feel as though I had a taste of His glory and it has made me want more of Him.

I get my nails done every other week. I get what’s called powder gel or SNS. Don’t ask me what SNS stands for, I think it’s the brand of powder gel. I really like the look of my nails being done I think it looks professional and neat on me. I don’t get wild colors or designs not are they long like just past my fingertips.

Just a little background; my nails don’t grow very well, are soft and will bend at a certain length. Now before someone starts diagnosing me with some sort of nail revealing disorder my nails have been like this all my life. I’m fine.  There were times in the past that I would get acrylics but I hated that I felt like a slave to getting a fill in. If you let them grow out too long it looks really bad and you need more acrylic to fill in the growth. Plus when you take the acrylic off, your nails are so so thin and damaged.

Where I get my nails done is owned by a woman from China and all but 2 of the employees are also from China. They speak nail talk very well and also they know how to present you with a bill and they speak money. They might speak more English than that but it’s hard to tell. Most are very, very nice and want you to be happy with their service. It’s pretty competitive where I live. There are 4 nail salons in a 3 block radius. But I notice there’s plenty of business to go around. I have my favorite spot which happens to be right around the corner from my house. I prefer one woman who calls herself “Billie” to do my nails. Oh I didn’t mention that all the Chinese women have names that would be considered “American.” There’s Helen, Linda, Shirley and so on.

I’m not particular who does my pedicures. I do like going at least twice a month especially in the summer when sandals are the shoe of choice. The reason I can maintain this mani pedi habit is how reasonable the cost is here where I live. There’s pretty much an average price for services a pedicure is around 18.00 and my nails cost 35.00 for the powder gel. The powder gel lasts at least 2 weeks, I might get 3 weeks if I didn’t get bored with the color. It always happens though, it will be 2 weeks since my last nail appointment and I’ll say to myself, “Oh I can go another week…” and BAM I’ll hit my nails on something and the gel will crack. Never fails.

So my toes are done and I’m finished writing. Happy weekend to all!

Everyone who knows me knows I arrive to work early to land a great parking space. I don’t mind, three days a week I stay late working until 5:00 covering an after school program. I’d rather know I have a close parking spot when I get there in the morning rather than worry about moving my car closer later in the day or walk to my car alone blocks away in a not so great neighborhood.

What I don’t understand is the people who park so inconsiderately. Like taking up two spots on the street and all they had to do was move up or back a few feet and another car would have fit there. It’s quite rude especially around here where parking spots are at a premium. And I must say it’s not my coworkers but the people who work at the grammar school down the street. Interesting.

Somedays I wonder what it would be like to sleep a little later, leave my house a little later and have to actively look for parking. But it’s a domino effect. If I slept later then left the house later I’d be stuck in traffic by my house and behind the dreaded multiple school buses which would delay my arrival even more. It’s amazing what a delay of  10-15 minutes can do to your travel time in the morning.

I’m so used to waking up early to get good parking I sometimes get up early on my days off and that’s ok. I find I get a lot done early in the day when I’m off. Last Saturday I was in ShopRite by 8 am and it was glorious!  I was done grocery shopping for the week by 9:30. It’s all good

 

 

Everyone who knows me knows I arrive to work early to land a great parking space. I don’t mind, three days a week I stay late working until 5:00 covering an after school program. I’d rather know I have a close parking spot when I get there in the morning rather than worry about moving my car closer later in the day or walk to my car alone blocks away in a not so great neighborhood.

What I don’t understand is the people who park so inconsiderately. Like taking up two spots on the street and all they had to do was move up or back a few feet and another car would have fit there. It’s quite rude especially around here where parking spots are at a premium. And I must say it’s not my coworkers but the people who work at the grammar school down the street. Interesting.

Somedays I wonder what it would be like to sleep a little later, leave my house a little later and have to actively look for parking. But it’s a domino effect. If I slept later then left the house later I’d be stuck in traffic by my house and behind the dreaded multiple school buses which would delay my arrival even more. It’s amazing what a delay of  10-15 minutes can do to your travel time in the morning.

I’m so used to waking up early to get good parking I sometimes get up early on my days off and that’s ok. I find I get a lot done early in the day when I’m off. Last Saturday I was in ShopRite by 8 am and it was glorious!  I was done grocery shopping for the week by 9:30. It’s all good

 

 

You haven’t lived until you’ve been shopping with my youngest, Samantha. She’ll be 13yrs old in August. She is the picture perfect specimen of shopping with a not so girly girl sneaker loving kid. I have learned the hard way to not suggest anything whether it be clothing or shoes or sneakers that I may find to be cute because in Samantha’s eyes the stuff is not cute at all. Alyssa and Lelly weren’t like that. They were pretty easy to shop with. I know one shouldn’t compare, that every child is different, blah blah…yeah yeah.

Today Samantha and I went to the mall to return a pair of sneakers that started ripping after only a month of semi regular wear. So we had a credit in one of the big sneaker stores. I suggested a style or two but learned to not take her look of “no” personally. I’ve come a long way in the art of shopping with Samantha. I used to get very frustrated and take her rejection of my choices or suggestions so personally. Since I’ve let go of my expectations things are a lot more pleasant when shopping. The only torturous experience is when we have a party to go to and Samantha needs something dressy to wear. Oh my gosh…it’s so not fun. But…again I’ve let go of the girly things my older two would have worn and just let Samantha be Samantha. There’s nothing wrong with jeans and a nice top with dressier sneakers. I’m ok with those choices.

Its nice to write a post about such typical behavior. And to be honest now that I’ve let go of my shopping expectations, being in the mall with Samantha is a whole lot more enjoyable.

 

I am employed by the Dept of Education of the city where I live. So essentially I am a city employee. It’s no secret that I love my job, I enjoy my co workers both nurses  and paras and teachers alike. It’s great that I work with other nurses. In this profession you need someone to talk to, to bounce things off of or simply vent to someone who really gets it.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my position of working for the city and my commission to spread the Gospel. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t afraid of putting my job in jeopardy if I were to talk about God to the students in my school. I’m not concerned with fear when it comes to talking about God to my coworkers, although I could use some boldness in that area. There are many I work with  who could use more Jesus in their lives, but then again who couldn’t use more Jesus in their lives? I know I could.

There are a few people at work that I’ve been transparent with concerning my faith in God. And I’m sure the ones I haven’t talked to about God can guess. But I don’t want them to guess I want all to know I am a follower of Christ, that He is real and has changed my life and He can change theirs as well.

My church is having a block party at The National Lighthouse Museum down by the ferry this Saturday June 15. I wish we could go but it’s Lelly’s prom that day. I don’t want to miss any of it. It seems like yesterday I was chasing this toddler down the street, man she was fast and strong willed. She’s still strong willed. Good for her! If there’s something she wants she goes after it. God has been so good to me concerning my children and my husband. Even the challenges we faced with Thomas, God was with us all the way even when I couldn’t feel His presence I know He did not forsake us, there’s too much evidence that His fingerprints were all over our lives.