My husband is considered an essential worker so he goes off to work everyday Monday through Friday. I’m here at home for now with my girls. They’re all students, two college and one, the youngest at 13; a junior high student. The 13 year old, Samantha is to complete school work online, she did well yesterday with only one hiccup. I’m hoping the rest of this online learning continues to go as well.

I’m waiting to take my statistics final. I was scheduled to take it this past Sunday morning but due to COVID 19, the college had to do some restructuring related to instructors proctoring exams and I am to reschedule my final. I want to just get it over with and move on. In the meantime I’m waiting on my employer to assign me to a program to work at.

One of Thomas’ housemates at the group home has tested positive and was hospitalized. As far as I know the man was sent back to the group home because his condition was stable, he was doing well and had no fever. I spoke to Thomas on Sunday and strongly instructed him to stay away from that particular housemate to avoid getting “sick”. Poor kid still wanted to know if we would pick him up for dinner. When I said no Thomas quickly said, “I don’t want to get you sick.” I’m thinking he gets it a bit. As for Thomas’ health he’s been fine, Thank God. No symptoms and no fever. God has blessed my son in many ways, Thomas is resilient, easy to do blood draws, adapts relatively easy to different life situations and he has a strong immune system.

My heart goes out to those parents who are home with younger children. I seriously thank God all this is happening during this time in my life. Everyone is older and the fighting between siblings is not there. Alyssa and Lelly get along as best friends (most of the time…) and Samantha as the youngest simply falls into place in her role. Tommy said the other day, “Imagine yourself home with a young Thomas and the girls”… I loudly said, “No! I can’t imagine”. I mean snow days were bad enough back in the day and you knew it was only for a day, two days max. This situation, it’s unclear as to when it will end.

Alyssa is great in that she loves to cook, we’ve decided on vegetable soup tonight, it’s going to be really good, I know it is. Yesterday was this chicken dish from Trader Joe’s, it’s a Kung Pao type meal that I added their vegetable fried rice to. It came out good and it’s something different.

I’m awaiting my employer to assign me a place to work now that the schools are closed. I had been assigned to a center way, way uptown around 154 St. in Manhattan. I requested a change since that is so far away but I believe I’m now on the pay no mind list; I haven’t heard anything. Very frustrating.

My husband has decided to complete some needed projects around the house that we’ve put off. We went to Lowe’s for him to buy supplies to remodel his shower in the basement. We practiced social distance and washed our hands appropriately after coming home. Lelly is redecorating her room beginning with a new paint color on the walls and new blinds. She bought a new full size bed last month to replace her twin size. The paint job came out awesome, she now needs the blinds up; privacy is nice.

I’m taking my statistics final this morning. I debated putting it off but decided to just go for it. Of course I’m really hoping to pass, I don’t even care so much about doing well. Statistics is no joke I did not anticipate it being easy at all. To be honest I didn’t know what to expect. I’ve never taken anything remotely like that class.

We took our crazy rescue hound dog to the vet this week for some kind of medication to calm her down. Anyone who’s been to our house and has met Lola can testify to her craziness and incessant barking. God forbid the UPS guy even drives down our street, Lola goes nuts; same with the mailman. If you bring in a delivered package she goes after the package and will attack the box, biting and trying to rip it apart. Weirdo. I won’t even go into what the moulding around our front door looks like. So Dr. V gave me a script for an anti anxiety med that is expensive; I have to pay out of pocket. I have to call them tomorrow to see if their supplier is less money. In the meantime Dr. V also gave us a sedative to use for her while we are waiting for the prescription to be filled.

Today I’m ordering over the phone, paint for Tommy and my bedroom. Our local Sherwin William’s is open but you need to pick out your things and call the order in, then they meet you at the door to take payment. Pretty cool, safe system IMO anyway. We haven’t redecorated our bedroom in about 10 years so it’s time. Plus when we removed the house chimney during the renovation 2ish years ago they had to open part of one of the walls in our room, it’s behind my bureau but the room still needs to be redone.

Here’s to continued social distancing and a passing grade in statistics!!

Schools are closed in hopes of slowing/preventing the spread of Corona virus. This past Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday the teachers and staff had to report to their school. We all had our roles; as nurses we had to call parents who’s children receive medication or nursing services in school and ask if they wanted to pick up their child’s meds, supplies, etc… A few parents came, most did not. That was fine, I enjoyed their optimism that school would be open again come April. I’m not too sure what to think. I’m hoping we are able to return in April. I like my job and I enjoy my co workers.

It’s the uncertainty I don’t like. Today, classrooms were cleared out. Medical supplies that are usually kept in the classroom were returned to our office, secretaries cleared out their desks. We were told to take our personal belongings home, to not leave anything behind. I packed up my desk, cleared out office supplies I like to use such at post it notes and markers, my stethoscope, my plaque that the girls gave me for Christmas with “Registered Nurse after my name. I wasn’t ready to clear everything all out. It felt odd and unsettling. Normally when we have a school break everyone is leaving in a good mood, yelling goodbye! Have a good week off!! See you !! There are often hugs exchanged. Yesterday was nothing of the sort. One of my co workers and I bumped elbows, to others I waved goodbye from a “safe” distance,

We were told we are to work from home after having our attendance taken via email at 8am today. I’m curious as to what we will be doing from home. Paperwork? Nursing care plans? I have no idea. I wonder if we’ll be placed to work where they may need nurses. I don’t know how these things work, I’ve never worked for the city before in the midst of a pandemic illness. Rumor has it we may be placed to work in centers the city is opening for children of people who must go to work. It should be interesting.

I’m not one for journaling so I write here. Day 1 of treating today, a Monday as a “snow day” as instructed. The girls had a big breakfast because they’re all together. It was sweet. So far I am procrastinating getting to work on my statistics class, hanging out on Facebook, dropped packages off at the post office (not crowded), spoke to mom on the phone twice, texting my fellow nurses that I work with, and vacuumed my car and chatted with my next door neighbor.

I managed to get in a much needed visit with a dear friend who is in the hospital (not corona virus related). My friend is doing great and we laughed and I cried such happy tears to see him doing so well. Life was amazing for that hour or so.

Back home again and I was informed that school nurses are to report to their schools along with teachers, paras and other staff. They need us to call parents to pick up any needed medications or supplies that we have at the school. Makes me really wonder when/if we’ll be back this school year and what will they have nurses doing now that schools are closed. Will we be sent anywhere? Will the DOE *find* work for us to do? I’m so curious. Off to do school work!

Wow, I’m truly surprised, I did not see this coming; they closed NYC schools until (tentatively) April 20. They rarely if ever close NYC schools. A snow day is a momentous occasion here. Although those occasions have been more frequent the past couple of years. I don’t know where I stand on NYC schools closing. I know many parents in my school alone are single parents and rely on the school system to be open. I know when Thomas was at his peak of horrendous behavior here at home I needed him to be in school. I’m not in that place anymore thank God but many other parents are. I’m not saying the schools should stay open during this time, I don’t know how I feel but I do know schools give parents a break and these kids thrive in their daily routine which is now disrupted. There is no easy answer.

As for me, I guess there will be a lot of cleaning out/rearranging cabinets now that Lelly is home. She’s already cleared and reorganized my kitchen food storage and has plans on starting in the dining room this week; before we knew I was going to be home. Yes there will be a lot of togetherness and bonding going on haha!

Tommy and I discussed re-doing our bedroom such as painting, new blinds and changing out our bedroom set for his parents bedroom set. Maybe that project will get started and finished earlier than we thought. Samantha thought she would just be off from school with no work to do. Ha! She wasn’t thrilled when we confirmed that she’ll have work and lessons to complete via the computer/internet. Silly girl. I still have to finish my beloved statistics class, now I have more time…Yayy…

Thomas is here for his weekly Sunday dinner and hang out time. He’s so pleasant, it’s nice to be with him. He’s thin. Not skinny and unhealthy but thin. You’d never know it that he eats like there’s no tomorrow. I never thought we’d ever get to this point of simply enjoying him. It’s nice, really nice. Last week we went to the mall and he was fun. We went to Macy’s because I had to browse the handbag department and he was egging me on to buy a bag. I did not purchase a bag (surprised?) it was nice to browse and see the new styles. Thomas however doesn’t believe in simply “looking.” He’s totally a riot like that and can be dangerous to shop with.

It’s the days of the corona virus. The atmosphere is just plain weird. Everyone is just plain afraid of getting sick, stockpiling toilet paper (for whatever reason,) building a supply of groceries, people are afraid to go out of their houses. To be honest I just want to live my life. I went to the nail salon yesterday for my regular mani/pedi. The salon was eerily quiet for late afternoon/early evening hours. I’m glad I went. That is a “normal” event for me.

My school is open just as most of NYC public schools are. Given that so many parents work and don’t have a “plan b” for childcare *plus* many children depend on school food to eat, I doubt the mayor will close the public schools. I’m ok with working, I serve the medically fragile population. There are many students with weak/impaired immune systems, most of those parents are keeping their children home. However there are many students whose parents won’t keep them home and their school life is going on as usual. Those students don’t have a problem with their immunity.

I’m getting tired of the media frenzy, the fear that’s been instilled in most of us. The girls and I just returned from grocery shopping, not because of the virus but because Friday/Saturday is when I normally go food shopping. Shoprite was super crowded. The people weren’t rude or crazy thank God, just so many people. Kind of negates the proposal that people shouldn’t gather together in large groups.

Lelly is home from her dorm in the city. F.I.T. has gone to all online classes so she came home. I’m glad she’s home. Alyssa’s college has also gone to online classes beginning next week. I’m still taking my statistics class; hoping to be finished by next week. It’s a difficult class. I just want to finish, pass and then I can move on to my next class which is Health Assessment I believe. Doing school work seems so “normal” as does going to work. Here’s to “normal!”

I’m currently in the middle of taking “Applied Healthcare Statistics” as part of my bachelor studies. Being off from work all week you would think I buckled down and tackled the class with a vengeance. Nope…I had good intentions but good intentions only go so far.

I had a great week off, I slept in some days (I don’t sleep past 8am; don’t ask) did some major cleaning out of my closet and Samantha’s room and organized my under the bed storage. Oh and I went with Lelly to help her pick out her first major adult purchase. She’s decided to not dorm again after this semester is over and wanted to replace her twin size mattress with a full size mattress. The sales woman was great and we had a fun time picking out the perfect mattress for her.

This morning I hit the Sal Val and scored an incredible Fendi bag. I knew what it was the minute they put it out. It was hanging up behind the counter and I asked the sale girl if I could see it. Found all the marks to tell me it was authentic and kept it close by my side until I checked out. I wanted to skip to my car after!

So getting back to statistics. I suppose the party is over and I need to get back to my class. It’s not an easy class. I have never heard one person say they found it easy so that makes me feel better to find the class a bit challenging. I find I need to read the material and then take notes and then read over my notes. This is all online. Then there are practice tests after each module. Some tests I totally bomb on and that’s ok, I don’t beat myself up over that. I just keep taking practice tests until I feel confident that I’ve mastered that section and then move forward. The college I am attending is great with creating a sense of community and they really encourage communication. I have a mentor. She’s been great and very supportive. And my instructor encourages me to set up phone appointments with her to go over work that I have questions about. I am happy and impressed with the support they offer.

Monday will come soon enough and it will be back to work. It’s all good, I miss (most of) my co workers. It’s funny because at work everyone counts down the weeks and days until the next break, then everyone says big goodbyes to each other when the break is upon us. It’s nice, really. You’re with the same people day in day out for so many hours a day. You can’t help but get close. You don’t get close to everybody of course, there’s some people you can’t wait to take some time away from. Eh, it’s all good.

I read recently this quote, “Friends are family you pick yourself.” It’s so true. My husband, myself and our children have been very fortunate to know what it’s like to have friends that we’ve picked to be part of our family.

I have a best friend that I’ve known since we were 17 years old. Considering that we both turn 50 this year that’s a long freaking time to know someone. Way back when we were teens we were very close and then our lives took different turns. We lost touch for a little while; until I ran into her mother one evening. Her mom updated me and said I should give my friend a call. I don’t remember who called who first but we reconnected and I’m so glad we did. Due to busy lives (and who isn’t busy these days?) we don’t talk as often as we would like, but when we pick up the phone or text we fill each other in and it’s as if no time has passed at all.

I have a soul sister who lives in Wisconsin and we met when my son was 6 years old. He’s now 23. Seventeen years… unbelievable. We’ve been there for each other even though geographical distance might make that seem impossible; for us it’s a mere inconvenience, something we’ve been able to work around. She supports me and I support her, through the good, the bad and the ugly.

There are also very close friends who my husband and I have known since high school who live nearby. Friends we go to dinner with on a regular basis and those who house and pet sit for us when we go away on vacation. That is not friendship that is family. People you trust to be in your home when you’re not there. A friend who takes a 2 hour car ride with you both ways (and stops to shoe shop on the way back) so you don’t have to go alone because that’s what friends do and that’s how much that friend loves you and you would do the same for them if given the chance. That’s beyond your typical friendship that’s family.

My family has been incredibly blessed. It’s more than what those non blood family members have done for us and us for them. But also the emotional support we give each other unconditionally. The no judgement zone that exists with such relationships. That’s not to say differences of opinions never come up; they do but because you’re family you get over them.

Treasure and pray for all your family members. They’re all in your life for a reason. God places these people in your life to love and to give you even more family than you thought you had.

When Thomas lived at home I would bring him to church, I would bring all the kids to church. They were young enough to attend what was called “Kidz church” and it was held in the gym. The staff knew Thomas was special needs and would keep the older 3 together and it was really helpful to me. Samantha would go to a program for 3-4 yr olds. This went on for a couple of years until Thomas was too old to attend that program and he would sit with Tommy and Alyssa and I during the traditional service. He would talk; a lot. And he didn’t use a “church voice.” So most Sunday’s at church were interesting with him in attendance. No one ever commented or said anything to us. My church is pretty accommodating of people with special needs.

After Thomas started attending residential school I continued to attend church with the girls. Thomas, being away at school did not attend church anymore. When him and I were together I would ask him if he believed in Jesus and he would always say yes and smile. I would tell him that Jesus loves him and that he died for him and Thomas wouldn’t say anything but he would smile.

During one home visit Thomas told me he sings about God. I froze and said, “What? What do you mean?” Thomas said that the staff at school puts on music about God and he sings to it. I almost fell over; in a good way. I called the school and asked to speak to a staff member during the evening time. I asked them if they play worship music, that Thomas told me they did. The person on the other end of the phone was very nervous and answered, “Yes, we put music on for the kids…”. I quickly said I know it’s Christian music and it’s ok! That we are Christian and I was glad they were playing worship music with Thomas! God found a way to make His presence known even when I couldn’t be there to take Thomas to church. They were having “church” right there; His presence was right there.

When Thomas first moved to his group home here I took him to church with me. It was a scenario I often daydreamed of when he was away at residential. That when he came to live here we would attend church together every Sunday and we would bond and it would be great. Well it didn’t quite work out that way. Thomas talked during the message even louder than when he was younger. He would also complain loudly that he needed a tissue for his nose. One Sunday when I didn’t have a tissue a woman sitting behind us gently tapped my shoulder; holding a tissue. I wanted to hug her. After a few weeks of this I stopped bringing Thomas to church. I was only getting aggravated. He wasn’t disappointed that I stopped bringing him and even said he didn’t want to go when I asked him.

The other night after dinner, Alyssa and Sam and Samantha and I were playing a game. Thomas was walking around and started singing. It was sweet, he wasn’t saying any particular words just singing to his own tune. Then he put both arms up in the air and we all stopped and said, “What are you doing?” Thomas answered, “Jesus, it’s Jesus!” He was worshipping by himself in my house. How great is that? Thomas then said that one of the staff at his house worships with him. I love this. God finds a way, when you think there isn’t a way he uses people who don’t even realize they’re being used to let His love shine through. Thomas is reminded regularly that he is a child of God, that God is to be worshipped and that we sing praise to him. I know who the staff member is who is guiding my son to God. God makes a way.

Just about every Sunday we have our son Thomas over for dinner. Sometimes when I pick him up around mid afternoon we’ll go shopping or if he needs it get him a haircut. This past Sunday he needed a haircut so that’s what we did. The young man who cut his hair was probably not much older than Thomas. He was very polite, patient and just all around good. I was impressed. Some days it’s not easy to give Thomas a haircut and we only get him buzzed, Thomas doesn’t want anything on top like a flip on top. Marc, the name of the barber not only buzzed him, he also shaved Thomas. And then he gave us his card so we could make an appointment next time if we wanted. The shop is on Morningstar Road across from the McDonalds if anyone local is interested.

It’s no secret that Thomas lives in a group home with 7 other male residents about 10 minutes from our house. There are times I wish he still lived at home, like now. Thomas has been going through a med reduction. The nurse Peggy at the group home was convinced that he was on too much medication and a few months ago the psychiatrist started reducing and changing the times of Thomas’ medications. I was quite wary at first, he was on those meds for a reason. But Peggy persisted and gave solid rationales and I said ok. Well my son is doing great! He’s so pleasant to be around and his vocabulary has increased. Thomas is using words in the proper context that he never used before. An example is him asking me if I “enjoyed my dinner.” Thomas never used the word “enjoy” before in his life. Little things like that make you so happy. And him being so pleasant to be around…well you wish things were different. Like that he was living with us. There’s no way we would give up his group home placement; I just wish things could have been so much more typical when it comes to him.

But all things happen for a reason and only God knows the why’s and why not’s to His grand plan of events. I’ll wonder if I’ll ask my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ questions about Thomas when the day comes that we are face to face. Or will I suddenly gain appreciation and understanding of this life and see how all the pieces fit? Will I even care to ask since being in the presence of the Great I Am will surely be ever so sweet and rewarding and beautiful.

I don’t think I would change anything about Thomas even if I could. I used say I would change him not for me but for him. That Thomas’ life would be easier. But who’s to say that it would be? Who’s to say what Thomas would have been like if he were a typical person. Perhaps Thomas is just the way he’s always supposed to have been.

Thomas is made in God’s image the same as any of us. And God made Thomas; Thomas the same way he made Lelly and Alyssa and Samantha and all of us they way we are. Thomas has many gifts that I know were given to him by the Father so that his life wouldn’t be so hard. Thomas is very resilient, doesn’t mind blood draws and doctors visits and understands when you are being sarcastic. He’s well liked, sweet and all around a nice person. I remember when Thomas was around 10, a social worker at his school told me that Thomas was very well liked by his peers there. That “Thomas is a nice kid; you can just tell and the other kids see that and want to be around him.” I was so happy to hear that. You know your kid and to hear an unsolicited compliment especially when things aren’t ideal totally means the world to you.

Seeing Thomas respond so well to the med reduction makes me feel like we came out the other side. Tommy and I see the difference in him and it’s a wonderful feeling to enjoy being with him. One day at a time.